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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24848821">Spring and a Storm</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/demizorua/pseuds/demizorua'>demizorua</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>HLVRAI - Fandom, Half-Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Merpeople, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Autistic Benrey (Half-Life), Autistic Tommy Coolatta, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slow Burn, Something!, Tags will be added over time, also Fun Fact all the numbers used in this fic actually mean Something, benrey's dialogue is all lowercase on purpose bc it just Fits benrey's just Like That, bro it just BE LIKE THAT, not always something important but, reverse version of the other mermaid au fic!, this concept was so galaxy brained so i had to try my hand at it..., title and chapter titles are all from various song lyrics bc i'm just like that, too many to list but ask if u wanna know</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:53:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>27,399</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24848821</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/demizorua/pseuds/demizorua</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Black Mesa has never exactly been a "morally upstanding" facility — Benrey was well aware of this fact. He was no stranger to having to turn a blind eye to his co-worker's less-than-savory actions, and it had never bothered him before.</p>
<p>So why was this experiment any different?</p>
<hr/>
<p>Reverse AU of CrackheadMossMan's mermaid AU! Please go check out the original mermaid AU fic <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24329575">here</a>; it's amazing!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Benrey &amp; Tommy Coolatta, Benrey/Gordon Freeman, Bubby/Dr. Coomer (Half-Life), Gordon Freeman &amp; Joshua Freeman</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>265</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1044</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Lay of the Land</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24329575">The Ocean Isn’t So Scary</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/WTFGayLittleZooid/pseuds/WTFGayLittleZooid">WTFGayLittleZooid</a>.
        </li>

    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>HUGE credit to @crackhead-moss-man on Tumblr for coming up with this entire AU!! Check out their tag for this AU on their Tumblr <a href="https://crackhead-moss-man.tumblr.com/tagged/hlvrai-reverse-mermaid-au">here</a>, and thank you so much for letting me try my hand at writing this!!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"bbbbbbbbbb…"</p>
<p>Resting his chin in his hand, Benrey stared blankly at the break room wall, enjoying the vibrating feeling he got from making the sound. The other people in the room ignored him for the most part, only the more irritable scientists sparing a handful of frustrated glares towards the enigmatic security guard.</p>
<p>They must be new to the facility.</p>
<p>His idle time-wasting had long since grown boring, but Benrey stopped himself from wandering off in search of further entertainment. Despite his generalized lack of commitment, Benrey always made sure that he was waiting in this break room at 3 p.m. every day no matter what.</p>
<p>He may not interact with very many of his co-workers, but his one exception took precedence over whatever aloof attitude Benrey tried to give off.</p>
<p>"Ben — Benrey! Hey!" Blinking, Benrey turned towards the voice, a lazy smirk on his face as he waited for his vision to refocus.</p>
<p>A tall, lanky man jogged into the break room, waving excitedly with a huge golden retriever trotting along at his heels. Benrey turned towards the approaching man, shuffling out of the lazy slouch he'd been reclined in.</p>
<p>"whuh… heyyyy, tommyyyy." Tommy chuckled at Benrey's greeting, sliding into the chair across from the security guard with a smile. "… ‘n gamer dog."</p>
<p>"Good girl, Sunkist," Tommy hummed, patting the retriever on the flank as he laid her harness on the floor. Sunkist visibly relaxed, her tongue lolling out as she laid down beneath the table.</p>
<p>"uh… bro… what's… what've you been doing?" Benrey tapped his fingers idly on the table as he stumbled to get his thoughts across. Tommy waited patiently, pulling his wallet out of his lab coat pocket, counting out small bills as he listened. "you, uh… you do any… epic… epic science moments?"</p>
<p>"Not — not really," Tommy replied, smiling at Benrey as he handed a few bills off to his dog beneath the table, "just the normal stuff." Sunkist gently took the bills in her mouth, trotting off towards the vending machines on the other side of the break room, tail wagging gently as she went. Benrey watched her amble off, bobbing his head in time with her paces.</p>
<p>"that's, uh… that's pretty sucks, man… totally not epic." Tommy nodded in agreement, resting his head on the table with a sigh.</p>
<p>"Y-yeah… it's — it's not all bad, though! I-I'm… there's this new project I got — got put on!" Benrey raised an eyebrow at his friend's heel-face turn in terms of enthusiasm, curious about what caused it.</p>
<p>"wh… yeah?" Tommy nodded, his eyes bright as he fidgeted in his seat.</p>
<p>"Yeah! I, um, they said there's this… cool creature that, um, that they found!" Sunkist shoved her nose into Tommy's lap, distracting him with a can of her namesake soda in her mouth, another balanced on her muzzle. Tommy gingerly took the two cans, patting Sunkist's head gratefully and digging a treat out of his pocket for her.</p>
<p>"mm," Benrey hummed, tapping the table rhythmically as he watched Sunkist beneath the table. Benrey was always thankful for how understanding Tommy was, never demanding eye contact, understanding that Benrey was interested and paying attention even if he wasn't looking at him.</p>
<p>"They, um, Black Mesa… they've had this — this creature for a while, I think? But the scientists that were working with it… they got — they got hurt, I think?" Popping the tab on the first can of Sunkist, Tommy downed the drink in one take, crushing the can against his head. Benrey couldn't help but chuckle at that, Tommy’s behavior reminiscent of their college days. "They — they didn't tell me, really, 'cuz… well, they didn't, b-but! It's supposed to be some, uh, really cool ocean creature!"</p>
<p>"sounds… uh… pretty epic, bro," Benrey replied, lips quirked in a small hint of a smile. "real, uh… epic gamer moment."</p>
<p>"Yeah!" Downing his second soda, Tommy crushed the remaining can, passing the two scraps of metal off to Sunkist, who had already stood up obediently. "Could you, uh… could you throw these out for me please, Sunkist?" The dog boofed happily, taking the cans in her mouth and trotting over to the recycling bin.</p>
<p>Tommy stood up, brushing off his lab coat, and Benrey watched him lazily. Sunkist quickly returned to her owner's side, pressing up against his legs as he took her harness in his right hand. Benrey's attention was captured by the well-trained dog, her attention now turning to the surrounding area as she shifted back into a watchful focus.</p>
<p>"Um, I was — I was wondering," Tommy said, catching Benrey's attention, "if you, uh… if you'd maybe wanna come with me? I — I mean, I've always got Sunkist with me, but it'd be, uh… it'd be nice to have a friend to, uh, to see this with!" Benrey noticed how his friend was fidgeting anxiously with Sunkist's harness, running the tough material through his fingers repeatedly.</p>
<p>"huh…? yeah, uh… sure bro," Benrey shrugged, clambering to his feet. "i think i'm, uh… supposed to guard around that area, actually." He definitely wasn’t, but nobody ever bothered to keep Benrey in once place, so he might as well.</p>
<p>Tommy practically bounced in place, his hands waving energetically, and the scientist quickly headed off down the hallway, chattering happily to Benrey as the guard trailed along behind him. Despite Benrey's typical flat affect and disinterested attitude, he couldn't help but be intrigued, if not by the concept of a mysterious undersea creature, then at least by his friend's clear excitement.</p>
<p>Benrey ran his hand along the concrete wall, letting the sounds of Tommy's excited rambling and Sunkist's claws tapping against the tile floors occupy his mind as they walked. He knew nobody would bother to question him, and Tommy was supposed to go this way, so Benrey allowed himself to zone out.</p>
<p>The deeper into the facility they went, the colder the air got, and the sounds of various experiments — both living and otherwise — echoed among the concrete walls. Benrey might have been unnerved if he wasn't so used to the ambiance of Black Mesa.</p>
<p>Finally, Tommy abruptly paused in front of a sealed door. Benrey came to a stop behind him, blinking slowly. Benrey's attention was grabbed by the plaque adjacent to the door as Tommy entered a password into the keypad — 8122218, he noted — the experiment's label written out to distinguish the door from the others lining the halls.</p>
<p>
  <i>Specimen #49126: Goldentail Moray.</i>
</p>
<p>Tommy paused for a moment, his hand hovering over the door handle. He glanced back at Benrey, his eyes shining with both apprehension and excitement, and Benrey flashed him a supportive thumbs-up, maintaining his typical blank expression. Tommy smiled in return, nodding before pulling the door open and confidently striding through.</p>
<p>This room was even colder than the hallway had been, and the ceiling was at least four times higher. There were bright fluorescent lights hanging from the beams in the ceiling, and sturdy metal catwalks crisscrossed the walls, converging into a center path that spanned the length of the area.</p>
<p>Of course, all of this was secondary to the clear centerpiece of the room. A huge glass tank with an open-top took up the majority of the room’s space, catwalks and observation decks clearly arranged for easy viewing of the tank. Two walls of the container were exposed to the room — open space left between them and the walls in order to allow for closer observation — while the other two were pressed against the edges of the room.</p>
<p>The entire place felt incredibly clinical and sterile, and the tank was practically empty aside from the still water filling it nearly to the brim. Computers, desks, and all manner of complicated machinery that Benrey didn't recognize lined one wall of the tank, the flashing lights and glowing dials practically begging to be messed with.</p>
<p>Maybe later.</p>
<p>Tommy made a beeline for the machinery setup, where two older men stood arguing about something or other. Benrey trailed behind him half-heartedly, eventually branching off towards the tank itself.</p>
<p>"Are you the goddamn scientist who's supposed to be helping us with this shit?" Leaning against the glass, Benrey turned to watch the confrontation, watching as a short, thin, balding old man marched up to Tommy, exuding raw confidence despite his rather unassuming form.</p>
<p>"Now, now, Bubby, let's not be so harsh!" This was the other older man, this one taller than the other, and absolutely <i>shredded</i> from what Benrey could see. The guy was built like a goddamn brick shithouse. The smaller man quickly calmed down when the new arrival laid a large hand on his shoulder, huffing in frustration but ultimately backing down. "I'm sure this young man is quite capable, and it's always lovely to have a helping hand!" His expression was alarmingly friendly, and Benrey couldn't help but feel somewhat suspicious of the elderly man.</p>
<p>"Ah, y-yes, my name's Tommy!" Benrey noticed that Sunkist was pressed especially close to Tommy's side in a show of support, and he knew Tommy noticed as well, one hand reaching down to ruffle the dog's head. "It's nice to meet you, Doctor… um…?"</p>
<p>"Bubby," the shorter one replied gruffly, shrugging the others’ hand off his shoulder. He turned back towards the computers, glaring at the screens through his thick glasses.</p>
<p>"And my name is Coomer," the other man said, holding out a hand for Tommy to shake. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Tommy! And your security guard friend, as well!"</p>
<p>Benrey flashed a peace sign at Coomer and nodded to Tommy with a teasing grin before turning back to the tank. Seeking to avoid further interaction with the scientists, Benrey began scanning the tank, searching for something, anything to divert his attention to. His efforts were rewarded, and Benrey couldn’t help but hum softly as his eyes were captured by a strange, speckled ball of yellow huddled in the far corner of the tank.</p>
<p>Coomer seemed to be tracking Benrey’s line of sight, clapping his hands lightly just as the guard’s gaze settled on the dingy yellow lump in the corner of the tank.</p>
<p>"Ah, yes! Our lovely subject!" Coomer cheered, turning to where Bubby was now tapping at a keyboard and leaning over the gruff man’s shoulder.</p>
<p>"Is that the — the creature?" Tommy asked, squinting at the murky figure. "Are they… like… sick, or something?"</p>
<p>"Sick of us is more like it," Bubby grumbled, hitting a few more buttons on the keyboard before backing up, turning towards the tank with a huff. There was a small pause as Bubby presumably watched for some reaction from the creature, crossing his arms in frustration.</p>
<p>Suddenly, a loud, high pitched squealing sound filled the room, catching Benrey off guard and forcing him to suppress a flinch. Sunkist cried out in pain, whining as she pawed at her ears, and Tommy looked mildly uncomfortable as well, his face twisted in a slight grimace.</p>
<p>Just as quickly as the sound had arrived, it faded out, leaving the room in tense silence. Benrey blinked a few times as he waited for his ears to stop ringing, watching Sunkist yawn and shake herself in discomfort.</p>
<p>"What — what was that?" Tommy asked, petting Sunkist gently. His voice was still a bit unsteady, but he seemed more concerned than annoyed. Bubby huffed, simply going back to tapping at the keyboard angrily without responding.</p>
<p>"Bubby simply played a high-frequency note in an attempt to get the attention of our despondent subject," Coomer chimed in, raising a finger confidently. "High frequency is the ITU designation for the range of radiofrequency electromagnetic waves between 3 and 30 megahertz. It is also known as the decameter band or decameter wave as its wavelengths range from one to ten dec—"</p>
<p>"So — so the creature responds to higher frequencies?" Tommy cut Coomer off, just as Benrey was preparing to interrupt with some quip or joke. Coomer seemed nonplussed, wearing the same amiable grin as he trotted over to stand beside Bubby.</p>
<p>"We aren't sure!" Coomer's voice sounded far too cheery given the uncertainty of his statement. "But, seeing as we have been unable to communicate with the test subject until this point, we have resorted to testing a number of varying hypotheses!"</p>
<p>"It has — it hasn't reacted?"</p>
<p>"Damn thing hasn't so much as <i>moved</i> in days," Bubby grumbled, and Benrey couldn't help but scoff, drawing the room's attention over to him.</p>
<p>"pretty… uh… pretty cringe, bro," Benrey joked, grinning slightly. "uh… fail sea monster can't… can't even be bothered to move… lameass."</p>
<p>Benrey was facing away from the tank as he taunted the unmoving specimen, but if he was looking at the glass he might have noticed the small, slinking movements behind him as the previously still water churned with activity. As it stood, he only barely caught the nervous glances of the scientists before him, looking over his head instead of directly at the security guard.</p>
<p>"bro got captured… did an epic fail… now the guy won't even — won't even move… cringe ass nae nae monster—"</p>
<p>Benrey was cut off by a small wave of water splashing over the lip of the tank and onto his helmet. Looking up, he saw that the three scientists were staring in awe at something right above his head, their eyes wide with wonder. Benrey had to stifle a chuckle, feeling like the stupid protagonist in a horror game as he turned around slowly, facing the now-much-darker tank behind him.</p>
<p>"You wanna say that shit again, <i>fucker?"</i></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Moments Pass</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank you all so much for all of the support on the first chapter!! i couldn't respond to all of the comments, but please know that i read all of them and appreciate everything everyone's said!! it means so much to me that you all enjoyed the start of the story, and i'm just as excited to get into this story as all of you!</p>
<p>without further ado, here's chapter two!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"You wanna say that shit again, <i>fucker?"</i></p>
<p>The voice, while completely audible, was noticeably muffled. It reminded Benrey of the character cries from Super Smash Bros Brawl; the audio emitted from the shitty Wii Remote speakers was usually unrecognizable as the character’s voice.</p>
<p>The underlying frustration and malice were clear enough that Benrey could easily pick up on it despite the filter, though. Which was impressive considering Benrey’s typical level of tone-deafness.</p>
<p>Taking a shallow breath, Benrey turned to face the tank, his expression blank as usual. Eyes half-lidded, he stared up at the figure looming over him, their image distorted behind the thick glass wall. Or, rather, he traced the figure with his eyes; Benrey quickly understood why the scientists behind him were in such awe of the being.</p>
<p>It was a wonder that the creature had managed to squeeze itself into the small bundle that was previously huddled in the corner of the tank, Benrey thought, following the dull-yellow tail as it wrapped around the aquatic space. It seemed almost never-ending, the appendage writhing and lashing in a clear display of aggression.</p>
<p>Finally, Benrey's gaze reached the monster's head, and he felt like he must’ve visibly reacted this time. In contrast to the intimidating, powerful tail, the upper portion of the creature appeared almost human, the sleek tail seamlessly melding into smooth, tanned skin dotted with freckles.</p>
<p>Benrey mentally swore to himself, flinching when the humanoid slammed a clenched fist against the glass — <i>oh, shit, those are claws, those are <b>claws</b></i> — snarling down at Benrey with its brow furrowed and teeth bared — <i>fuck, its teeth are <b>sharp</b>…</i></p>
<p>The longer Benrey looked at the being, the warmer his face felt. Sure, it was some terrifying undersea monster… but the human half was kind of attractive, he can’t lie. Long, frizzy hair, a strong jawline peppered with facial hair, clear, defined muscle all along its torso…</p>
<p>Benrey bit the inside of his cheek harshly, locking his expression into disinterested neutrality. He hoped.</p>
<p>
  <i>Curse his monster-loving tendencies!</i>
</p>
<p>"Well?!" the creature shouted suddenly, bright green eyes narrowed in rage as it gesticulated wildly. Its voice seemed to echo throughout the entire room, booming and intimidating despite the slightly muffling water effect. How did it do that? Make it sound so clear and so muffled all at once?</p>
<p>Oh, wait, it was staring at him.</p>
<p>"wuh…?" Benrey tilted his head, mind drawing a complete blank. What did it say? What was he supposed to be responding to? Staring blankly at the enraged creature, Benrey hoped his confusion wasn’t visible on his face.</p>
<p>Shit, he’s gone too long without talking, hasn’t he. He’s gotta say <i>something!</i> Even if he has… no fucking idea what he’s responding to.</p>
<p>Whatever. He can just wing it.</p>
<p>"uh… little — little banana baby done… uh… done napping? cringe baby not… uh… not asleep anymore?"</p>
<p>Yep. Absolutely nailed it. Another fantastic job well done from Benrey.</p>
<p>The monster — <i>mer-monster, it’s a fucking <b>mercreature</b>, holy <b>shit</b></i> — abruptly froze, the water stilling as it stared blankly at Benrey. The only sounds in the room came from the dull hum of complex machinery, and if Benrey didn’t hear familiar quiet panting from Sunkist just behind him, he would have assumed that the others had left.</p>
<p>As the tense seconds ticked on, Benrey felt like the rest of the world began to fall away. He was unable to tear his eyes away from the mercreature's piercing stare, the glowing green eyes holding him hostage in the creature’s own misery. His heart felt like it was caught in his throat, and the very room seemed to be holding its breath in apprehension. Benrey was reminded of how people tended to describe tragic events online; tension building until it was released all at once, like a dam breaking. Like a loud, obnoxious sneeze.</p>
<p>What actually happened was more like an anticlimactic fart, if you ask Benrey. A handful of bubbles rushed out of the thin openings in the mercreature's neck — gills, his mind supplied helpfully — its expression twisting up in a blend of raw disbelief and sheer frustration. One clawed hand rose to comb through bushy, free-floating hair, and the monster gathered a fistful of the brown and silvery strands, clutching them so tightly that Benrey could feel his own scalp throb in sympathy.</p>
<p>The creature's mouth moved as if it was speaking, and Benrey could only assume it was mumbling to itself, brow furrowed and tail lashing violently. Its gaze seemed distant, and Benrey suddenly noticed how <i>exhausted</i> it looked; there were deep, heavy bags under its eyes, purple bruises littering its face and body.</p>
<p>"How… how <i>fucking</i> dare you?!" The creature suddenly screeched, a piercing wail of anguish tumbling out of its mouth after its enraged cry. He heard a small yelp from behind him, and some shuffling which he assumed was Sunkist seeking to comfort her owner. "Is this some kind of — some kind of sick <i>joke</i> to you? You callous <i>fuck?!"</i></p>
<p>"woah, uh… calm — calm down, bro." Benrey had hoped to pacify the creature but realized a moment too late that his patented monotone and general outwards indifference probably didn't help with that all that much. “gotta chill out, y'know… do a… do a chillify.”</p>
<p>"Calm down? <i>CALM DOWN?!?"</i> This burst of yelling did succeed in making Benrey recoil, the eel's tail harshly smacking against the glass wall in its anger. "You — you have no <i>fucking</i> right to tell <i>me</i> to fucking CALM DOWN!! You fuckers attacked my fucking school! You ripped us away from them, from our <i>home,</i> and then you have the god<i>damn NERVE</i> to kill —" there was a sharp pause accompanied by a full-body shudder, "— to <i> fucking</i> kill them! You killed my whole school you <i>bastards—"</i></p>
<p>The ranting mercreature cut itself off with another sob, body jittering as its face twisted up in misery. Benrey felt his chest tighten almost painfully, and he hated the way his heart clenched at the creature’s misery.</p>
<p>Sympathy fucking <i>sucks.</i></p>
<p>"Then — then!!" The creature had one hand twisted in its wild hair, the other waving around, knifing through the water as it gesticulated wildly. "Then, you just fuckin' dump me in this godforsaken <i>tank</i> while you take my <i>SON</i> to — to…" The tirade now came to a much more abrupt halt than before, the mercreature’s expression going slack, aggression dissipating in an instant. Its anger visibly fizzled out, body going limp, and all of a sudden the imposing monster that had previously commanded attention and fear from the small group looked so exposed, so helpless, so <i>lost</i> in the huge, empty tank.</p>
<p>"My — my son… my little Joshie…" The monster suddenly seemed so much <i>smaller,</i> wrapping its arms around its body as its tail began closing in around its torso, surrounding the now despondent moray. The group could only watch as the mercreature curled in on itself, tail enveloping it as it slowly drifted back to the corner.</p>
<p>Benrey was stunned by the sheer volume of emotion on the creature’s face. He’d encountered plenty of test subjects and other creatures in his time at Black Mesa, but… none of them had ever looked so raw, so real, so <i>human.</i> Hell, the thing appeared to be <i>crying</i> — it was hard to tell underwater, but the trembling shoulders and scrunched up eyes seemed indicative of the familiar, universal expression of sorrow.</p>
<p>Benrey couldn’t do anything but watch as the sea monster retreated back to its pitiful attempt at a hideaway, wrapping itself up almost as if to protect itself from the vast empty space of the tank. The last thing he saw of the creature before it was reduced to a trembling heap of yellow was a faraway, despondent look in its eyes. The blank expression was painfully familiar, and Benrey forced himself to look away before his throat could constrict any tighter.</p>
<p>The room's silence felt even more oppressive now, the tension pushing down on Benrey's chest and making him feel things he didn't exactly enjoy. Silence was uncomfortable for him even on the best of days, and after what had just happened none of the other people in the room seemed inclined to fill it.</p>
<p>Benrey felt <i>wildly</i> out of place which, despite his chill and disinterested attitude, wasn’t an uncommon feeling to him. He was no stranger to awkward silences and uncomfortable tension, and he knew damn well to handle it.</p>
<p>Somewhat.</p>
<p>Kind of.</p>
<p>The point is he had dealt with painful social tension before. Even if this was a bit more of an… extreme circumstance than he was used to, it was still somewhat familiar. So, Benrey was easily able to fall back on the tried and true tactic that had never failed him yet: </p>
<p>Masking his emotions with sarcastic humor.</p>
<p>"wh… uh… bro… this is… this is just like the plot of finding nemo, two-thousand — two-thousand ‘n three," Benrey muttered, his voice faint and uncertain as he turned away from the glass. "bro out here kinning albert brooks clownfish. pretty — pretty fail."</p>
<p>The two older scientists seemed to be caught between a handful of emotions and, while Benrey wasn’t the best at reading facial expressions, he’s pretty sure none of them were positive.</p>
<p>Still, neither of them outwardly responded outside of an awkward cringing at his poor excuse for a joke, so Benrey considered that a win.</p>
<p>"Um… y-yeah," Tommy mumbled, "it… uhm… I don’t — don’t, uh… yeah." The man was now tightly clutching Sunkist to his chest, the position slightly awkward due to the dog’s large size. Sunkist seemed completely unbothered, however, panting lazily as she laid her weight against her owner. Benrey couldn’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy, longing for the comforting pressure he knew the dog could offer.</p>
<p>Coomer cleared his throat uncomfortably, clasping his hands with a strained smile on his face once he had the others’ attention.</p>
<p>"Well! That was certainly… enlightening!" Coomer said, pointedly not looking towards the glass tank. Bubby huffed, abruptly turning and stalking over to a nearby desk, and collapsed into the chair dramatically. Coomer watched him go before turning back to Tommy and Benrey, fidgeting with his tie nervously. "Ah… Tommy, how about I show you around the facilities, hm?"</p>
<p>"O-oh! Yes, um, th-thank you," Tommy said, voice muffled by Sunkist’s fur. He set the large dog down, Sunkist nudging his hand with her muzzle as he did, and Benrey resisted the urge to collapse into her soft fur. The comfort would be appreciated, but Benrey was uncomfortably aware of the two old men nearby, and expressing his emotions was… pretty cringe, if you asked him. Sure, he trusted Tommy, but being vulnerable in front of two random old men was <i>super</i> unepic.</p>
<p>Speaking of Tommy, the other man gave Benrey a pointed look, brow creased with worry. Benrey had easily slipped on his default neutral expression, but Tommy knew him well enough to see past the emotional mask.</p>
<p>Tommy was great. Benrey should really be more grateful for Tommy.</p>
<p>"yeah bro, gonna, uh… gonna do an epic science. you got — got… uh, gamer dog. gamer dog gonna do epic science moments." Benrey flashed Tommy a thumbs-up, hoping his nonchalance was convincing enough for his friend to believe him. Luckily, Tommy seemed to at least go along with it, smiling nervously and nodding before following Coomer off towards the boring looking machinery.</p>
<p>Benrey watched the scientists work for a while, standing stock still with a neutral expression as they did who-knows-what. Well, they probably knew, but Benrey sure didn’t. That soon got boring, though; watching dudes in lab coats speak science jargon over computer screens with nonsense on them had never been all that entertaining, at least in his experience.</p>
<p>Sparing a glance behind him only revealed the same despondent yellow lump as before, the mercreature seemingly having worn itself out. There was a small, sporadic stream of bubbles coming from the center of the pile, its tail shuddering and twitching, and Benrey didn’t like the feeling of guilt that lodged itself in his chest at the sight.</p>
<p>Turning away, Benrey resisted the urge to groan as he realized that the scientists hadn’t started doing anything new. Getting the sense that he was no longer involved in whatever was going on, he soon wandered off, not bothering to tell Tommy. He knew the other man was more than used to his cryptic behavior and he didn’t want to risk worrying his only friend.</p>
<p>He’d dealt with more than enough guilt for one day, thank you very much.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Benrey spent the rest of the workday roaming the high clearance hallways in search of anything interesting. Most of the doors were marked with complicated science jargon and other various bullshit that Benrey didn’t understand, giving no indication as to what might’ve been inside. Much to his disappointment.</p>
<p>By the end of his shift, all Benrey had managed was to get himself lost and, as he rode the Black Mesa tram back to the dormitories, he couldn’t help but let his mind wander back to the mercreature from before.</p>
<p>It was no secret that Black Mesa wasn’t exactly the most “morally upstanding” facility; Benrey had known exactly what he was getting into when he’d signed up for the job. There were plenty of times Benrey had opted to turn a blind eye to some of the less-than-savory actions of his coworkers, and he wasn’t even involved in the actual research side of things — he could only imagine what kinds of things Tommy had seen in his time on the job.</p>
<p>He had never been bothered by the underground behavior of Black Mesa up until today; why bother with stuff that isn’t any of his business? But something about hearing a heartbroken father cry out for his son in raw, near-feral desperation just… hit differently.</p>
<p>Maybe it was because this "test subject" actually looked human, or at least seemed to think like one? It was one thing to trap and experiment on unthinking alien beings, Benrey reasoned, but sentient, aware, emotionally intelligent ones?</p>
<p>That just seemed a little… wrong.</p>
<p>Humming to himself, Benrey shook his head, pulling out his phone as he stepped off the transport car. Tommy had sent him a few pictures of Sunkist over the course of the day, one of which had one of the old men smiling in the background… he thinks that one was Coomer? Maybe?</p>
<p>Whatever. Not like it mattered.</p>
<p>Pulling up his saved pictures, Benrey sent a nearly incomprehensible image in response, the picture so deep-fried and covered in text that he had no idea what it was originally supposed to be. It was still funny, though, so he'd kept it. And now he'd sent it to Tommy.</p>
<p>Smirking to himself, Benrey stuffed his phone back into his work vest, the shadow cast by his helmet comfortably obscuring his face as he made his way down the identical hallways. The familiarity and normalcy of the effect was calming in a way, and he relished it every chance he got.</p>
<p>Despite priding himself on his unpredictability, Benrey already had a clear plan for the rest of the evening. He was going to find his way back to his dorm, text Tommy for a while, and then stay up all night playing Heavenly Sword, as usual. It had almost become routine at this point,  and there was no reason any of that would change.</p>
<p>Definitely not because of some dumb science experiment.</p>
<p>Nope. Definitely not.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Meat From the Bone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hey everybody! i have to say that i am. absolutely floored by the response to this fic. i'm more used to writing for less popular fandoms, pff. please know that i <i>super</i> appreciate all the comments and feedback!! i can't always make myself respond, but i do read all of the comments and it's always great to see all of your feedback!!</p>
<p>i'd also like to mention that the amazing Heta01 wrote a great little piece about reverse au gordon and joshua! while my fic may diverge from their ideas a bit, i absolutely LOVE their fic and implore y'all to go read it! go show them some support <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24899071">here</a>!</p>
<p>@two-dolla-bills on tumblr drew the end of chapter 1 <a href="https://two-dolla-bills.tumblr.com/post/621922094625800192/you-wanna-say-that-shit-again-fucker-i-just">here</a>! please go check them out and give them the support they deserve!!<br/>feel free to tag me on tumblr (@demizorua) with any art you make! i can't express how wonderful it makes me feel to see all of this!</p>
<p>without further ado, here's the next chapter!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gordon blearily opened his eyes, shivering slightly as he stirred from his restless period of sleep. He hadn’t fallen asleep in weeks, never having let himself relax long enough for unconsciousness to claim him. He’d felt numb, almost; the days had blurred together into a haze of being invasively poked, prodded, and stared at by the callous, unfeeling humans that held him captive. His skin was sore, his bones ached, and he felt sick to his stomach from all the old fish he'd been forced to eat.</p>
<p>It was horrible.</p>
<p>He'd finally fallen into a fitful period of rest, it seemed, after exhausting himself in the vicious outburst from earlier, for better or for worse. Gordon felt a small sense of satisfaction when he remembered the shock and fear he'd seen on that infuriating human's face. Served them right, for taunting him so childishly. Who the hell did they think they were? With their stupid fucking tone of voice and shitty goddamn jokes —</p>
<p>Gordon forced himself to put a stop to that particular train of thought. There was no point in getting riled up all over again, especially over some shitty human. <i>Especially</i> one as unassuming as this one. They looked nothing like the other humans he’d seen, with their comically oversized helmet and strange blue covering, unlike the long white ones Gordon had come to despise.</p>
<p>Speaking of the white-clad humans.</p>
<p>Making sure that he kept as still as he could, Gordon listened out with bated breath, his eyes squeezed shut in fear. He still heard the horrid ambient sounds of his prison, whirring and beeping sounds that he knew would haunt his dreams until he died, but the background murmurs of humans weren't mixed in with the horrid cacophony of noise. Much to his abrupt relief.</p>
<p>Gordon flared his gills in an exhausted sigh, uncoiling from the tense ball he’d been wrapped up in. He let out a quiet hiss as he relaxed his tail, the soreness of the appendage only aggravating the residual injuries from his capture and sending a sharp spike of pain through his tired body.</p>
<p>Pushing himself up off the sterile tank floor, Gordon slowly began the painful swim along the glass perimeter, his body aching with every slight movement. He didn't want to move, didn't want to bother with any of this, but Gordon knew that he had to keep up some semblance of activity if he wanted to have any chance at escape. The situation seemed hopeless now, but Gordon refused to give up, refused to sit around and dry up into nothingness. He needed to keep his strength up, needed to stay alert and active, needed to remain vigilant, to be ready for the smallest opportunity.</p>
<p>He needed to be ready to fight his way out.</p>
<p>Gordon looked around the empty tank as he slowly swam in circles along the edge. The routine behavior had helped him stay sane over the past however-long, and he tried his best to enjoy the small voluntary action. This was the one thing he still had control over, and Gordon tried to enjoy it as much as he could, even if his prison was suffocatingly empty on a whole.</p>
<p>God, he hated how empty his tank was. He always felt so exposed, so vulnerable, and the large expanse of empty space did nothing to soothe his continuous anxieties. It was horribly boring, too; there was nothing for him to look at, much less do. Sure, Gordon had bigger problems with being <i>kidnapped and locked in a tank</i> than the lack of enrichment provided, but the inescapable boredom of his downtime only made the ordeal all the more unbearable.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, Gordon couldn’t even escape the frustration of his situation by zoning out. Grumbling under his breath, Gordon rubbed his sore forehead, glaring at the transparent bars of his cell that he’d swam straight into. Gordon knew what glass was, he wasn’t dumb, but he’d never encountered the material until now, and his less-than-stellar eyesight certainly didn’t help him navigate the barren landscape he was trapped in.</p>
<p>His subpar vision had never been an issue for Gordon until now; there were more than enough landmarks in his home seas to help him navigate well enough. Not only did this hellscape have absolutely <i>nothing</i> for him to use as a reference, but the humans insisted on keeping the room freakishly bright, which didn’t help his vision problem. He didn't have to squint quite as much as he did normally, as a lot of the unnatural lighting had been shut off for the night — at least, Gordon assumed it was nighttime.</p>
<p>Humans slept during the night, right?</p>
<p>Not that it mattered; his sense of time had long since been demolished over the course of his time in this living hell. His life had been simplified into two distinct times: "daytime," when the humans were around and making his life hell, and "nighttime," when he was left alone with his thoughts.</p>
<p>Neither one was a very good option if you asked him.</p>
<p>As he skirted the center of the tank, senses on high alert, Gordon caught a whiff of rotting fish and had to resist the urge to shout in frustration, instead letting out a low, hiss-like growl. Sure enough, a clump of dead fish was floating near the surface of the tank directly above him, the stench making Gordon feel sick.</p>
<p>Swimming up slowly, Gordon grabbed the unappetizing lump of flesh in his claws, irritation ringing in his head. It was insulting, really — tossing him some old, clumsily-killed porgy, keeping him subservient like some kind of dumb, feral animal that was too stupid to fend for itself. And yet, that's likely all he was to these heartless humans.</p>
<p>Just a mindless animal.</p>
<p>Taking a small bite out of the fish, Gordon reluctantly forced himself to eat what little he could stomach. It tasted worse than it smelled, made his stomach turn at the mere stench, but Gordon needed the energy. He slowly, hesitantly pulled the disgusting piece of flesh down his throat with his pharyngeal jaws, all the while longing for the satisfying taste of a fresh kill. What he wouldn't give for a live crab or shrimp — hell, he'd even take a measly feeder fish at this point. Anything but these rank, decaying porgy.</p>
<p>Gordon couldn't suppress another shiver, the frigid tank nothing like the warm waters he was used to. He yearned for the clear, open seas he once inhabited, longed to sink his jaws into the soft inner flesh of a mussel, to wrap himself and his son inside the cavernous rock structures they called home until they finally, <i>finally</i> felt safe. What he wouldn't give to hold his son again.</p>
<p>His son.</p>
<p>Anger quickly bubbled up inside of him, his already foggy vision further blurring with unshed tears. Joshua's terrified cries rang in Gordon's head, and he grit his teeth in fury, a deep, buzzing growl rumbling up from deep within his chest. Gordon had thrashed and screamed and fought — <i>god</i> did he fight — when the scientists came for his little boy, but no matter how many of those bastards he’d bitten and scratched and sang and screamed at, it wasn’t enough. They kept coming. They kept coming, and coming, and coming… and they stole Joshua away from him.</p>
<p>They took his little guppy away.</p>
<p>Gordon’s fists were clenched, sharp claws digging into the tough skin and fragile webbing, but he hardly noticed the pain. His outrage only continued to build, clouding his already-blurry sight with visions of his baby boy, scared and alone, trapped in the same waking nightmare Gordon was caught in. Joshua, all by himself, being poked and prodded by unfeeling humans, calling out for his dad, for <i>Gordon,</i> begging him to come to his rescue. And Gordon couldn’t do anything.</p>
<p>His baby was in pain, and Gordon couldn’t do a damn thing about it.</p>
<p>The bastards took his son, his pride and joy, and no matter how much Gordon had cried and screamed, no matter how he begged, how he <i>pleaded</i>, they refused to tell him where his little Joshie had been taken. They just wordlessly took notes — <i>notes!</i> — in response. As if his pain and anguish was just another statistic on a board, another variable for them to study.</p>
<p>Gordon swore under his breath, uselessly swimming back and forth along the front wall of his prison. He let out another growl of frustration, gripping the dead fish so tightly he could feel the bones snap, and the cracking feeling only served to fuel the blazing fire burning in his gut.</p>
<p>"Fucking — <i>dammit!"</i> Lashing his tail, Gordon catapulted himself up to the top of the tank, breaching the water with a loud splash. Reaching over the edge of the glass, Gordon flung the disgusting meat out of his prison, hearing a satisfying squelch as it landed somewhere in the blurry darkness. He hoped it landed on something valuable, something fragile and easily broken.</p>
<p>It'd serve the fuckers right.</p>
<p>After a few moments, Gordon's anger began to settle, the restless eel having nothing else to express his frustration with. He just felt empty, really, as he allowed himself to sink back to the bottom of the tank. He'd spent so long being bitter, being angry, that he just… didn't have anything left.</p>
<p>His animus had long since faded, leaving pure nothingness in its wake.</p>
<p>Gordon couldn't bring himself to do anything but lay apathetically on the tank's bottom, tail slowly wrapping and winding around himself in an instinctive attempt at self-defense. He wanted to curl up in his favorite cavern, wanted to burrow into the soft, powdery sand that always stuck to his skin, wanted to let the warm, gentle currents rock him to sleep.</p>
<p>Most of all, he wanted his son back, wanted to hold him close and sing him lullabies, wanted to tell him that they were safe, and <i>god</i> he wanted to <i>believe it.</i></p>
<p>Gordon figured he'd just lay around and dissociate, and worry about retreating back to the corner when the facility started to wake up again. Not like it particularly mattered; it never mattered if he moved when the humans weren’t around. The worst that could happen is the humans will try to get him to react with some more annoying noises, or maybe run some more of their intrusive "tests."</p>
<p>Gordon didn't care, he just wanted to wallow in his misery.</p><hr/>
<p>This is so dumb. This is so, so, <i>so</i> dumb.</p>
<p>Benrey wandered down the cold, dark hallways of inner Black Mesa, running his hand along the equally frigid concrete wall. He moved mostly on autopilot, his body following the familiar path he'd traversed earlier that day without issue, which freed up his mind for other thoughts.</p>
<p>Like how dumb he was being right now.</p>
<p>Benrey still wasn’t sure <i>why</i> he was traversing the high clearance section of Black Mesa at 3 in the morning, clad in his security guard uniform to avoid suspicion. He had fully intended to spend his night gaming into the early hours of the morning, but he’d been too distracted to really game to his full potential. After his third missed headshot and subsequent death he’d turned off the PS3 — <i>it’s not a rage quit, <b>Josh,</b> that’d be cringe,</i> — and spent about half an hour staring into space.</p>
<p>Well, staring at his collection of Minion Funko Pops™.</p>
<p>Same thing, really.</p>
<p>The sea monster hadn’t left his mind since their encounter earlier that day, much to Benrey’s frustration. He’d never been so hung up over anything from work before, but the impassioned rant and obvious heartache of the creature occupied his every idle thought. Benrey wasn't <i>uncaring</i> in any sense of the word, but he hated how guilty those piercing green eyes made him feel.</p>
<p>And somehow that guilt led him to where he was now. Standing in front of the locked door to the laboratory from earlier that day, his oversized helmet pulled low over his eyes. The guard on duty had already turned the corner and was out of sight, so Benrey quickly copied the pattern he'd seen Tommy enter earlier — 8122218 — and slipped through the unlocked door as quietly as he could.</p>
<p>The laboratory felt even colder with all the fluorescent lights and complex machinery shut off, and Benrey exhaled dramatically as the door clicked shut behind him. Despite the overhead lights being off, there were still some bright lights illuminating the majority of the tank, casting an eerie blue glow over the surrounding area.</p>
<p>Walking up the glass, it only took Benrey a few seconds to pick out the creature in the barren tank. It was laid out on the bottom, tail bundled around it, and the darker shadows of the room made it blend in with the background much better than it had earlier. The eel was trembling, he noticed, body and tail shaking pitifully.</p>
<p>Benrey placed a hand on the glass of the tank, his heart clenching painfully. He was quickly overcome by a strange sadness he couldn’t place, and he felt like he would collapse at any second. Benrey slowly brought his other hand to his face and, when he did, he noticed he was shaking. When he pulled his hand away, he saw his fingertips were wet. Only then did Benrey notice the low melodic sound quietly filtering throughout the room.</p>
<p>The sound was almost musical, like a gentle, somber song bouncing off the barren tile walls of the empty laboratory. It seemed to almost echo in on itself, which only added to the haunting aura of the room. The melody had a near ethereal feeling, reminding Benrey of countless fantasy worlds, hidden valleys and soaring peaks, sights beyond his wildest dreams.</p>
<p>Above all else, the song radiated pure <i>sadness;</i> the longer Benrey listened to it, the heavier his heart felt.</p>
<p>Benrey had never considered himself good at identifying emotions, but the feeling was so poignant that he was able to pick out every small facet of the sound. It sounded lonely, scared, and a bit melancholy. Filled with misery, filled with longing. Rife with desperation and despair.</p>
<p>Mainly, though, the song sounded bitter. Bitter and mournful.</p>
<p>A sudden spike of pain came with this realization, causing Benrey's breath to hitch. He was cold — so, so cold — and his every muscle ached and burned so intensely that he felt like he might collapse. His throat was sore, rubbed raw, and his head pounded, making his vision swim.</p>
<p>What really struck Benrey, though, was how intensely his <i>heart</i> ached. So much fear, so much pain and loss — it was worse than anything he had ever felt before. What was most painful was how he couldn't exactly put a finger on the source of his anguish; it was just a vague sense of misery and hurt, choking him and bleeding him dry.</p>
<p>Wiping at his eyes, Benrey couldn’t seem to stop the flood of tears which flowed from his eyes unbidden. He wasn’t sure when he’d started crying, or even <i>why;</i> what was he so upset about all of a sudden? Sure, Benrey wasn’t exactly the most in tune with emotions, his own or otherwise, but surely he’d be aware if something was upsetting him enough to make him <i>cry,</i> right?</p>
<p>
  <i>What the hell is going on?</i>
</p>
<p>"Bro…" Benrey murmured, sniffling despite himself, "what — what the fuckin’… what the shit?" He quickly froze, though, as the creature in the tank jolted to awareness, their head snapping up and in Benrey’s direction. Benrey watched, fascinated, as the creature’s eyes dilated rapidly, pupils contracting and expanding as they tried to pick out their surroundings.</p>
<p>"Uh… heya… fish-bro." Benrey grinned nervously, reflexively flashing a peace sign at the sea monster. The creature’s facial fins flicked at his voice, and their eyes narrowed, pupils thinning to an almost terrifying degree. They reminded Benrey of a cat, and the rows of dangerously sharp teeth now on full display didn’t do anything to dissuade the comparison.</p>
<p><i>"You."</i> A small trail of bubbles slipped through the creature’s mouth with a slight hiss, and <i>ohh jeez, that much hostility can<b>not</b> be a good thing.</i> The eel seemed to rush to collect themself from the disheveled pile he’d found them in, tail thrashing and spiraling around the tank and churning the water into slow, choppy waves.</p>
<p>Benrey hadn’t noticed that the drifting song had been silenced until the creature opened their mouth once more, the same haunting voice tumbling forth from their lips. He couldn’t linger on that realization for long, though, as the singing immediately latched onto his mind with an almost painful level of intensity.</p>
<p>This song was different from the first one, the notes louder and more aggressive than they had been previously. It was higher pitched, too, and the loud singing made Benrey like a flaming spear was being stabbed straight through his brain.</p>
<p>Benrey supposes he should be scared by the piercing pain and slowly approaching sea monster — or, at the very least, somewhat concerned — but he found himself awash with a strange sense of calm.</p>
<p>That was only more concerning if anything, but Benrey couldn’t bring himself to fight the feeling, it being fairly in line with his usual laissez-faire attitude. Besides, he'd come to see the mercreature, right? Running off would defeat the whole purpose of his trip, and why would Benrey forfeit a match before the game was over?</p>
<p>The creature began to slowly swim towards the glass, and Benrey found himself mesmerized by the swaying motion of their tail as they approached. His headache only intensified as the creature drew closer, and Benrey slowly became aware of thoughts and feelings he felt no connection to swimming through his head. He strangely had no desire to move, despite the potential danger approaching him, so Benrey instead found himself taking stock of the external emotions he could feel dancing through the surrounding air.</p>
<p>There was the same bitterness from before, just as powerful as it had previously been. A lot of the feelings from earlier were still there, actually; the same anguish, same longing, same undertone of fear. Benrey hadn’t noticed them until now due to the intensity of the more dominant emotions washing over him; namely frustration, pain, and unbridled animosity.</p>
<p>Most of all, though, Benrey felt anger.</p>
<p>The anger was pure and unfiltered, a raw and blinding type of rage that Benrey had never experienced himself. Not even during any of his more heated "gamer moments," as he and Tommy called them. Benrey wasn’t an angry guy, and the sheer <i>rage</i> facing him was more than he could even begin to process.</p>
<p>Not that he had much of a choice, though; what other options did he have at the moment? Stare blankly at the eel monster now looming over him?</p>
<p>That didn’t seem like too bad of an option, now that Benrey thought about it. The creature was now right up by the glass, glaring down at Benrey with untempered hatred in their gaze as they continued their hypnotizing song. Normally Benrey would’ve responded with some witty jab or remark but, for some reason, he only looked back with an empty stare.</p>
<p>That was a shame, too; Benrey knew this would've been the perfect time for a teasing flirt or two.</p>
<p>The singing quietly faded out, the anger and animosity pulling at Benrey’s skull dissipating along with it, but Benrey still felt like he was wading through thick soup, similar to a bad dissociative episode. Staring up at the creature’s face, Benrey was only met with a disgusted sneer, one that probably would’ve made his stomach turn under normal circumstances, but still, he felt nothing.</p>
<p>Empty.</p>
<p>"What the <i>fuck</i> do you want, <i>human?</i> Come to <i>mock me</i> some more?" The creature's voice was coarse and hard, with a gravely undertone that made Benrey's own throat feel dry, like he had screamed his throat raw. Opening his mouth to respond, Benrey could only make a pitiful croaking sound, his lungs not cooperating with him like he wanted them to.</p>
<p>The mercreature chuckled, quiet with a bitter undertone, and tilted their head to the side, the action almost condescending in its simplicity. Their tail stilled for a moment, the creature allowing themself to sink down so they were closer to Benrey's eye level, and their eyes narrowed in a clear and dangerous threat.</p>
<p>"How's it feel, huh? How's it feel to be <i>trapped?"</i> Benrey wanted to leave, wanted to turn tail and run, but he was paralyzed, rooted to the spot. "To have everything <i>taken</i> from you?" Every fiber of his being was screaming at him to <i>go,</i> yet he didn't move an inch. "To have no control over your own god<i>damn</i> life?" He found himself lost in the creature's eyes, mesmerized by the shifting pupils, the feature so distinctly nonhuman.</p>
<p>Not to mention the clear vitriol apparent in the creature's sneer.</p>
<p>"You don't even know, do you?" The creature pulled away slightly, their tone less vindictive, more genuinely shocked. "You don't even know what your kind has done to me. Done to <i>us."</i> And just like that, the venom was back, although Benrey did hear a slight waver in the creature's voice, layered beneath the overpowering fury.</p>
<p>Benrey blinked, not sure how to respond. Honestly, he wasn't even sure if he <i>could</i> respond at this point; his thoughts may have started to unscramble, but his tongue certainly hadn't.</p>
<p>The eel leaned in, face impossibly close to Benrey's, and Benrey noticed his trance-like calmness beginning to fray at the edges. Resting a webbed hand on the glass, the mercreature seemed to wordlessly consider something, gaze scrutinizing as they stared at Benrey, unblinking.</p>
<p>Meanwhile, Benrey's attention was captured by the creature's hand; the sharp claws and thin, translucent webbing fascinating to the guard. He found himself wondering what the creature's hand would feel like, how the creature's tough skin would feel against his own. Moving hesitantly, like he was still unsure of the action, Benrey slowly placed his own against the surface as well, the glass wall now the only barrier between the two of them.</p>
<p>The creature seemed surprised by this, Benrey noticed, pulling their hand back slightly with wide, startled eyes. Benrey looked at them, brow creased ever so slightly, a question. He noticed that their pupils had widened, blotting out the captivating green irises with a murky blackness.</p>
<p>Benrey felt a small twinge of disappointment at that. Disappointment and… something else, something almost fond — endeared, maybe. Accessing his emotions, his body; it was still like wading through mud, but he could just barely grasp at the edges of it, a small amount of metaphorical wiggle room within his reach.</p>
<p>He still couldn't move, still couldn't feel much, but it was something.</p>
<p>Speaking proved to be too much for him still, so Benrey was left to desperately scramble for purchase on the collapsing cliff face that made up his internal mindscape. Now that the mercreature was distracted and no longer singing, he could maintain a bit more of a grip, so swinging himself to some sort of cohesive gesture seemed more feasible than it had only minutes prior.</p>
<p>Facial expressions were never his strong suit, but Benrey tried to school his own into something that wasn't intimidating or accusatory. His goal was something reassuring… but the result was probably closer to abject neutrality. Better than nothing, he supposed.</p>
<p>Locking eyes with the sea creature once more, Benrey was startled to find that, while the eerie, overpowering, distinctly <i>unnatural</i> sense of calm had begun to recede, there wasn't any significant amount of panic moving in to take its place. Sure, he could feel a trickle of unease start to flow through the cracks, but he was still largely unbothered by the whole, y'know, <i>deadly sea monster attacking him thing.</i></p>
<p>Startled wasn't exactly the right word. It wasn't an <i>unwelcome</i> development, just an… unexpected one. Something to think about later, for sure.</p>
<p>Not now, though. Now, he needs to focus.</p>
<p>…Fuck. He's totally screwed.</p>
<p>Forcing his attention back to the present, Benrey desperately hoped he hadn't been zoning out for very long as he reminded himself what was happening. Right — sea monster.</p>
<p>Got it.</p>
<p>The creature appeared to have settled on a decision at some point, although their face betrayed none of their internal thoughts. They laid their hand flat against the glass once more, parallel to Benrey's, and Benrey saw a flicker of some unidentifiable emotion in their eyes before they narrowed into a glare once more.</p>
<p>"Listen, <i>human,"</i> they hissed, pushing forward so that both of their hands were pressed against the glass, "I could kill you right now. It wouldn't even take a minute. I could drown you, could rip you to pieces, could make you feel every excruciating second of pain that your kind has inflicted on us. Do you understand me? I could <i>ruin you."</i></p>
<p>Hot.</p>
<p>Benrey, now looking up at the creature, who had floated upwards during their threat, blinked, processing. After a moment, he simply shrugged, the barest hint of a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. It wasn't the best response, but it was the most he could do while his thoughts were still so hazy. Besides, he wasn't about to roll over and submit to this guy, magical sea monster or no.</p>
<p>He has a reputation to uphold!</p>
<p>"You fucking…!" the creature growled, but Benrey noticed that they didn't seem very bothered by his dismissal, mostly just irritated. Tired, if anything. "You — I'll — I could…!!" Then they trailed off, facial fins drooping along with their eyelids. They gave Benrey a deadpan look, face blank with a brand of annoyance Benrey was all too familiar with.</p>
<p>"Fuck it."</p>
<p>Pushing off from the tank wall, the creature turned and swam away from Benrey, movement quick and soundless. As they retreated into the slight shadows of the tank, curling into a protective pile, they gave one final, exhausted declaration to the stunned security guard.</p>
<p>"You aren't worth the effort."</p>
<p>With that, Benrey was left alone in the softly illuminated lab, the quiet hum of machinery ever-present in the background.</p>
<p>Benrey stood frozen, mind sluggishly trying to process the events that just transpired. He slowly removed his hand from the cool glass and found himself staring at his palm as his mind whirred. The room was still cold, as was the glass he'd been touching, but Benrey's hand almost felt warm, like he'd been holding onto something, someone.</p>
<p>Huh. Weird.</p>
<p>As he made his way back to his dormitory (when did he leave the lab? He must be more out of it than he had thought) Benrey ran through the events from the lab in his head as the fog slowly lifted from his mind.</p>
<p>The more he thought about it, the more… conflicted Benrey found himself feeling. On the one hand, this was clearly some super deep Black Mesa bullshit, and Benrey absolutely did <i>not</i> want to involve himself with whatever the fuck this shady company got up to in its downtime.</p>
<p>Cute guy or no, Benrey was just here for the paycheck.</p>
<p>On the other hand… he couldn't really walk away now, to be honest. Even putting aside the fact that he was already <i>deeply</i> ingrained in Black Mesa's illegal garbage… Benrey just didn't think he could force himself to leave the creature alone at this point. If he did, whatever semblance of a conscience still clung to his crumbling morality would burn him alive with guilt. Stupid sexy eel man and his stupid captured son.</p>
<p>Okay, so maybe Benrey was a little attached. Sue him.</p>
<p>Electing to ignore the fact that Black Mesa absolutely <i>would</i> sue him given the chance, Benrey slipped back into his dormitory, careful not to disturb any of his neighbors. Collapsing face-first onto his uncomfortable, standard-issue mattress, Benrey groaned into his pillow, lamenting the existence of his functioning amounts of empathy.</p>
<p>Being compassionate <i>sucked.</i></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Surface Tension</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>heya, all!! thank you so much for all of the comments on the last chapter! i really love hearing your guys' thoughts and stuff, and i'll do my best to reply to as many as i can!!!</p>
<p>there was a <i>ton</i> of amazing fanart after the last chapter that i want to shout out! i encourage you all to go check out these artists, because they're all incredible!!</p>
<p>@roseblazing on tumblr drew banana moray gordon <a href="https://roseblazing.tumblr.com/post/622212489296429056">here</a>!<br/>@cryptidflavored on tumblr drew a scene from chapter 3 <a href="https://cryptidflavored.tumblr.com/post/622205185531478016">here</a>!<br/>@the-appreciation-club on tumblr drew banana moray gordon <a href="https://the-appreciation-club.tumblr.com/post/622288300696338432">here</a>!<br/>@the-blueish-trashcan on tumblr drew the ending of chapter 1 <a href="https://the-blueish-trashcan.tumblr.com/post/622373273320177664">here</a>!<br/>@sheoff on tumblr also drew the ending of chapter 1 <a href="https://sheoff.tumblr.com/post/622379715828891648">here</a>!<br/>and @faebiie on tumblr drew a scene from chapter 3 <a href="https://faebiie.tumblr.com/post/622381532908306432">here</a>!</p>
<p>if your piece isn't listed above then i unfortunately didn't see it :( if you want me to see something you drew for this fic, please feel free to tag me on tumblr (@demizorua), or even message me or send in a submission! anything works, and i can't express how amazing all these pieces are!!</p>
<p>one last thing; i changed the title of chapter 3 from "Surface Tension" to "Meat From the Bone." i felt like the title fit this chapter better, so i went back and edited that. sorry for any confusion!!</p>
<p>hope you all enjoy!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Oh, Ben — Benrey! Hey!!"</p>
<p>"heyyyy." Tommy waved to Benrey from across the room, Sunkist boofing along in greeting. Benrey flashed a peace sign at his friend, letting the security door slip closed behind him as he entered the laboratory. "what's uhhh… what's slappin' gamers?"</p>
<p>"Ah, Security Chief Boper! What a pleasant surprise!" Wandering over to the group of scientists gathered by the front of the oversized tank, Benrey stared blankly at the older man — he couldn't remember which one this was, and he didn't want to risk saying the wrong name.</p>
<p>The other old scientist hardly even glanced at Benrey, frowning over his shoulder before turning back to his desk in a huff. Benrey didn't bother responding, not judging the man. He could understand not wanting to talk, whatever man. 'S cool.</p>
<p>Besides, Benrey wasn't even here for the old dudes.</p>
<p>Having drawn close enough to the tank, Benrey finally let his attention turn to his true focus. The container was just as barren and empty as it was the night before, the only notable change being the increased brightness of the water; all of the — frankly excessive — lighting on in full force.</p>
<p>That is, the only notable change aside from the sea monster huddled in the corner.</p>
<p>While the creature hadn't changed corners since Benrey last saw it, he was fairly sure they had moved at least somewhat. They were still bundled up in their impossibly long tail, but their head was ever-so-slightly peeking out from between the layers of their little protective huddle.</p>
<p>Their eyes didn't exactly glow, but they were extremely reflective, which ultimately resulted in the same effect. Two neon green lights could be seen within the shadows of their hideaway, and Benrey was reminded of the piercing stare he'd been captivated by last night.</p>
<p>Benrey continued to stare at the mercreature, eyes half-lidded, but directed his attention back to the others in the room as he heard them start talking again.</p>
<p>"S-So, um… what are…" Tommy trailed off for a moment, and Benrey could tell just from his tone that his friend was trying to contain his excitement, "has anything changed since — since yesterday?"</p>
<p>"Nope!" Benrey thinks that was the first old man, the one who had talked to Benrey before. "We've been trying to decide how to approach our studies of the creature, now that we know it's intelligent!" Yeah, that was definitely him; Benrey could never forget the out of place cheer of the old man.</p>
<p>"Fucker won't talk to us, though," the other scientist chimed in, frustration clear in his voice. "I say we just cut the damn thing open and be done with it!"</p>
<p>Benrey frowned at that, still turned away from the others, expression hidden by his helmet. He thought he saw a small tremor run through the mercreature's tail, but when he directed his attention back toward them he couldn't see any visible changes.</p>
<p>"Now, now, he doesn't mean that," said the first scientist, sounding shockingly confident, all things considered. "We're all just a bit on edge! The deadline for our weekly mandated report is fast approaching, after all, and we have absolutely nothing of note to report! And we all know how our employer can be about deadlines!"</p>
<p>"Um… y-yeah," he heard Tommy mumble, and Benrey was right there with him in terms of discomfort. The cheery disposition of the old man was highly discordant with the content of his words, although Benrey did hear a very slight edge of tension in his voice.</p>
<p>A slightly awkward silence overtook the room, and Benrey had to resist the urge to fidget with the sleeves of his uniform. He heard Sunkist make a low, rumbling sound behind him, and knew that the dog felt the oppressive tension as well.</p>
<p>"Might I ask why you've decided to visit us, Sir Bentley?" Jumping slightly, Benrey blinked, turning back towards Old Man #1.</p>
<p>"wha? uh… yeah, i just need to uhhhhhhh-" Benrey zoned out for a moment, wracking his brain for an excuse for him showing up in the lab without any warning, "-hhhhhhh… see your ID." Smirking slightly, Benrey nodded, doubling down on his excuse. That was a good cover. Top 20 epic improv moments. "can't have anyone where they aren't s'posed to be."</p>
<p>"Ah, yes, of course!" Old Man #1 pulled his ID card out of his lab coat's pocket, shoving it in Benrey's face, and <i>ohhhkay, THIS one is Coomer.</i></p>
<p>"uhhh, yeah," Benrey said, nodding with faux sincerity, "looks good. all clear bro. you can go to comicon, win epic smash bros tournament." Tommy walked up to Benrey, fidgeting with his hands with a nervous smile. "tommyyyyyy, brooooooo," he greeted, speaking a little too loudly on purpose.</p>
<p>"If you, um, you wanna see my ID again, th-then here you go!" Benrey's grin widened, accepting Tommy's company ID with an exaggerated nod. Tommy's eyes had a tell-tale sparkle in them, and Benrey was glad that, while it was painfully obvious that Benrey was completely bullshitting them, his friend was willing to go along with his joke.</p>
<p>"mhm. mhm. yep, this checks out. you're in the clear, dr. coolatta." Nodding again, Benrey easily schooled his expression back into neutrality, handing the card back to Tommy. Benrey then cast his eyes downwards, expression blank and serious. "what, uhhhhh," he smacked his lips loudly, "what about you, ma'am."</p>
<p>Sunkist let out a gentle bark, wagging her tail.</p>
<p>"uh-huh. uh-huh. i see." Benrey nodded, kneeling so he was eye to eye with the dog. "you — you got ID? you uhhhh, you have credentials? yes? show ID? show me ID please?"</p>
<p>Sunkist sat down and tilted her head, inadvertently exposing the service dog badge pinned on the front of her vest. Benrey brought his hand to his chin, leaning forward to inspect it.</p>
<p>"oh, that's great. good yes. thank you, ma'am. have a nice day."</p>
<p>Standing up, Benrey turned towards Old Man #2, going to stand by the side of his desk. Before he could say anything, the guy unclipped his ID card from the front of his lab coat, shoving it in Benrey's face without even looking at him. Benrey just stared blankly at the card directly in front of his eyes, waiting for his eyes to focus so he could read the obnoxiously close lettering.</p>
<p>
  <i>What the fuck kind of name is Bubby?</i>
</p>
<p>"uhhhhh yep, looks good," Benrey drawled, popping the 'p' as he took a step backwards. "pretty — pretty poggers. epic dr. bubby with the poggers ID card."</p>
<p>Pausing, Benrey took a quick glance around the room, taking stock of his surroundings. Tommy and Coomer had turned towards a pile of documents on a nearby desk, discussing something science-y, most likely, and Bubby was still scribbling angrily on another document at his desk.</p>
<p>And the sea monster was exactly where it had been; maybe even more coiled up than it was before.</p>
<p>Gaze lingering on the frightened moray, Benrey came to a decision. He quickly adjusted his security vest, adopting his best neutral expression, and marched over to the wall of the tank.</p>
<p>"yooo, i gotta see your ID, bro." Knocking on the glass of the tank, Benrey kept a straight face as he called out to the moray on the other side of the glass. When he didn't immediately get a response he just kept knocking, the glass thick enough that he could bang on it as loudly as he wanted without it being in danger of breaking. "brooooooo."</p>
<p>"You aren't supposed to tap on the glass, Mr. Bipple!" Coomer called, but none of the scientists made any movement to stop Benrey, instead watching him with silent curiosity as he harassed the poor mercreature.</p>
<p>"brooo c'mon you need clearance to be in here," Benrey called, knocking even faster. The creature's tail began to shift, pile unraveling slowly as they emerged from their defensive huddle.</p>
<p>Benrey watched, poker-faced as the creature drew themself up to their full size, pupils merely slits as they glared down at the security guard. Benrey continued to knock as they attempted to intimidate him; after last night, Benrey was more prepared for the creature's full size.</p>
<p>Benrey held the creature's glare, expression blank even as they loomed over his head, and continued to tap on the tank. Even as their fins pressed flat against the sides of their face, even as their glare deepened in hatred, even as a buzzing growl filled the room, Benrey kept up the irritating noise.</p>
<p><i>"Fffucking-"</i> the mercreature finally hissed, voice low and still just as raspy as before, "cut that shit out!!" Benrey's hand stilled, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth, and he stared up at the creature, blatantly unafraid. "The fuck do you want now, asshole?!"</p>
<p>"hey," Benrey said blankly, then shut his mouth and stared up at the creature. He felt a smug sense of satisfaction at the frustration and confusion written all over the mercreature's face, and they clenched their fists tightly, claws digging into their palms.</p>
<p><i>"You've gotta be fucking</i> — is that it," they growled, "is that <i>all you have to say??"</i></p>
<p>"can i see your passport?" Benrey asked, and the room went dead silent aside from the hum of machinery. There was a small snicker from behind him, one of the scientists reacting to his nonsense. Benrey just watched the creature stare at him, confusion competing with sheer anger.</p>
<p>"My <i>what?"</i> The creature's voice was hesitant and quiet; the same type of quiet that came before a hurricane, or a deadly explosion.</p>
<p>"your passport, bro. gotta see it."</p>
<p>"I-I don't — you — I…" Benrey raised an eyebrow at the creature's mounting confusion, turning back towards the gathered scientists.</p>
<p>"he doesn't have his passport," he stage-whispered, feigning exasperation towards the others. Benrey subtly winked at Tommy, who smiled in response, watching his friend's shenanigans unfold.</p>
<p>The two older scientists seemed completely baffled, but at least they weren't trying to stop him, so that was good.</p>
<p>Turning back to the tank, Benrey did a quick once-over of the mercreature, frowning at the numerous bruises and lacerations that still littered their tail.</p>
<p>"listen, uhhhh… you can't — you can't be in here," Benrey said, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "you can't — you don't have your passport. can't be here."</p>
<p>The mercreature finally reacted to that, baring their teeth in anger as that familiar, buzzing growl filled the air. Their pupils contracted even further, eyes narrowed in a deadly glare, their whole expression dripping with venom.</p>
<p>"Yeah — yeah, I can't be here. <i>I</i> can't be here!" In one quick movement, the creature swam down to Benrey's eye level and slammed their hand against the tank, claws carving lines into the glass just beside Benrey's head with a horrible screech. "Why don't you fucking get rid of me then, huh? If I can't be here, then <i>let me fucking LEAVE!!"</i></p>
<p>Benrey stared directly into the creature's eyes for a few seconds, watching their chest heave violently. Blinking slowly, he glanced down at their chest before returning his gaze to their eyes, as if he was judging them in some manner.</p>
<p>"gonna have to ask you some questions," Benrey finally said, a slight hint of uncertainty in his voice. Smacking his lips, he quickly composed himself, willing his tone to be level. "gotta… gotta make sure you aren't gonna steal anything. standard procedure."</p>
<p>"I… I…" the creature stammered, eyes wide and exasperated. They dragged their hands down their face, groaning, and slowly floated down to the tank's bottom. <i>"Keep it together, Gordon. Keep. It. Together…!!"</i> they mumbled, seemingly to themself.</p>
<p>
  <i>Gordon, huh?</i>
</p>
<p>Once they were laid on the floor of the tank, the creature pressed the heels of their palms into their eyes, before dropping their arms altogether. Their expression looked resigned, and, above all, tired. Benrey felt guilt begin to gnaw at his consciousness despite his best efforts to ignore it.</p>
<p>"Fine. Fine! Why not. Why <i>fucking</i> not! Ask away, <i>shithead.</i>"</p>
<p>"yeah, uhhh… good. yes thank you," Benrey said, nodding. "good yes okay."</p>
<p>Turning away from the despondent sea creature, Benrey looked to the three scientists expectantly. It took a few seconds before any of them noticed, and Tommy quietly tapped Coomer on the shoulder, gesturing towards Benrey.</p>
<p>"Ah! Wonderful work, Barbola!" Coomer hurried over to Benrey, Tommy following after him with Sunkist by his side. Bubby strolled over much more slowly, stopping while still at a distance, his arms crossed petulantly.</p>
<p>The creature watched warily as the scientists approached, squinting nervously as if it couldn't see them. Benrey supposed that it would be hard to see through water and a thick layer of glass. They brought their tail closer around them, coming to rest in a much looser, messier pile, but a protective pile nonetheless.</p>
<p>"cool, yeah, epic," Benrey mumbled, stepping to the side. "yeah, uhh, these dudes got some questions for you bro gotta — gotta answer real good." The creature only glared at him, gills flaring briefly, and Benrey made a conscious effort not to recoil.</p>
<p>"Um, hi," Tommy began, taking a hesitant step towards the tank. "I'm Dr. Coolatta. B-But, um… my friends call me Tommy." The creature turned to stare at Tommy, expression laced with anger, but Tommy didn't flinch or otherwise back down.</p>
<p>"And I am Dr. Harold Pontiff Coomer!" Coomer also received an uneasy glance from the mercreature and, at the ensuing silence from Bubby, he clapped a hand on the other old scientist's shoulder with the same easy grin. "And this is my dear associate Dr. Bubby!"</p>
<p>Bubby got a quick glance, which he met with a matching glare, which appeared to surprise the creature and cause it to look away anxiously. Benrey pointedly ignored the spike of sadness he felt at the creature's reaction, instead just looking on quietly.</p>
<p>There was a brief and tense silence, which was quickly broken by Coomer clearing his throat, and Tommy took that as a sign to continue.</p>
<p>"Um, what… what is your name? I-If that's alright? I… sorry if that's too invasive, I just — well it'd be weird to just call you 'specimen' all the time…" The creature's attention snapped back to Tommy, eyebrows raised in apparent shock, then furrowing in confusion. It was quiet for another few moments before a series of bubbles escaped their gills in what Benrey had come to recognize as a sigh.</p>
<p>"…Gordon. Gordon Freeman."</p>
<p>"It's — it's nice to meet you, Mr. Freeman," Tommy said, and Sunkist barked quietly in greeting. The creature — Gordon, Benrey thought, — jumped at the sound, looking at Sunkist with wide, confused eyes. He seemed to want to say something, but cut himself off, closing his mouth and turning back towards Tommy.</p>
<p>"I… listen, just… what do you <i>want?"</i> Gordon said, and Benrey couldn't help but frown at how exhausted he sounded. He seemed resigned, almost, eyes tired and fins drooping pitifully. His tail was pulled tightly around him, and it was subtle but, as Benrey looked closer, the moray appeared to be shaking.</p>
<p>"Well, um…" Tommy hesitated, looking at Benrey uncertainly. Benrey just shrugged, knowing even less about what Black Mesa wanted with the mercreature than his friend did.</p>
<p>"Well Gordon," Coomer began, jumping in with a smile, "we are scientists with Black Mesa, a privately funded scientific facility dedicated to the betterment of humanity through the pursuit of science! We have been assigned to study Specimen #49126 — that's you, Gordon, — referred to simply as the Goldentail Moray due to its visual similarity to the Goldentail, Banana, or Bastard Moray Eel."</p>
<p>Benrey devoted all of his effort to not making a joke about that.</p>
<p>There was a slight pause after that, during which every occupant of the room felt wildly uncomfortable. Coomer waited a few seconds, but as soon as he looked back at Gordon, his expression softened. Benrey immediately understood why upon seeing the hopeless, despondent look in the moray's eyes.</p>
<p>"But," Coomer continued, his tone softer and more cautious, "that is what <i>Black Mesa</i> wants, of course." Gordon looked up at that, dazed eyes searching Coomer's face for something Benrey couldn't guess.</p>
<p>"Now, while I cannot speak for my compatriots, I can confidently say that, as a scientist, all I desire is to study and understand that which remains a mystery, of which your wonderous species happens to be a part of." Coomer's soft smile faded into a more sympathetic expression, and he took a step closer to the tank, where Gordon was still watching him warily.</p>
<p>"However, as one Harold Pontiff Coomer… I simply wish to do whatever I believe to be right, you see. Morality is a very fickle beast in my experience, and mine has been known to change fairly often, if I may be quite honest," the old scientist chuckled, turning to glance at Bubby. The scientist in question just scoffed and rolled his eyes, although Benrey caught the hint of a smile on the other man's face as he looked away.</p>
<p>"I'm… not sure I can give a satisfactory answer to your question, Gordon, because I don't quite know the answer myself." Gordon visibly deflated at that, although he was still staring at Coomer intently.</p>
<p>"But, I will say that I want nothing more than to get to know you, seeing as it seems we will be working together for a good while, yes? And I certainly do not wish to cause you any form of harm." Coomer's normal cheerfulness had all but faded at this point, leaving worry and resignation, but he quickly bounced back with a half-baked smile. "And, well, I'm sure my associates would agree with me! Isn't that right gentlemen?"</p>
<p>"Y-Yeah!" Tommy smiled anxiously, one hand combing through Sunkist's fur as he spoke. "I-I… um, he's right, Mr. Freeman!"</p>
<p>Benrey just nodded, giving a thumbs up for lack of a better option, and Bubby yet again said nothing, although his quiet scoff and lack of an outward objection spoke for him.</p>
<p>Gordon had been staring at Coomer throughout his entire speech, eyes wide and searching, and his mouth had fallen open slightly. After a few moments, he closed both his eyes and his jaw, appearing to swallow, and then exhaled silently. When he opened his eyes again his pupils were blown wide, dark pools of black in an ocean of emerald green.</p>
<p>"This…" Gordon began, only to cut himself off with another sigh. "I… okay." He was still coiled in on himself, arms wrapped around his torso, but he seemed a bit less tense, and was carefully worrying his bottom lip between his sharp teeth. "Yeah, okay. I… as long as you aren't gonna kill me or anything then I… I'll answer your questions or whatever."</p>
<p>Benrey watched as Gordon sighed again, rubbing his upper arms with his hands as he exhaled sharply. His pupils were still blown out, and Benrey jumped when the moray turned to look at him, expression somewhere in between suspicion and hope.</p>
<p>"yeah, uh… epic — epic science time… that's a great cool…" Benrey mumbled, tearing his eyes away from Gordon in embarrassment. "epic, uh… epic gamer moments." Tommy met Benrey's eyes, and Benrey shot a subtle glare at him upon noticing his friend's small, knowing smile. </p>
<p>"This is fucking crazy," Gordon muttered, seemingly talking to himself again. He did that a lot, huh? "This is <i>fucking crazy-!!"</i></p>
<p>"Tell me about it," Bubby grumbled, rolling his eyes. "Listen, bastard-boy —" Gordon bristled at the name, but Bubby didn't seem to care — "we need <i>information.</i> I'm not gonna get in trouble with the assholes in charge just because <i>Harold</i> wants to make friends with a research subject."</p>
<p>"Bubby, that is rather harsh, my dear," Coomer interjected, giving Bubby a meaningful look. Benrey watched as the two had some silent exchange, expressions flashing between emotions too quickly for the guard to identify.</p>
<p>Turning back to the tank, Benrey saw that Gordon seemed stuck between anger and fear, and he noticed that the moray was subtly shifting away from Bubby, yet remaining pressed up against the glass wall.</p>
<p>"Tch…" Teeth clenched, Bubby shut his eyes, taking in a sharp breath before turning back towards the moray. "Alright, yes, fine, whatever. As long as I don’t get in trouble for this shit."</p>
<p>"Wonderful!" Coomer cut in before Bubby could continue, clasping his hands in front of his chest. "So, we're all in agreement, yes?"</p>
<p>"W-Wait, agreement about what?!" Gordon shouted, swimming upwards and away from the group. Benrey noticed the moray was still hugging the glass wall even as he swam away, for some reason. "I didn't agree to <i>shit!"</i></p>
<p>"Apologies, Gordon, I must not have been clear! We, as the science team assigned to your tank, agree to do our best to make sure that little harm comes to you during your… extended stay, so to speak," Coomer explained, hesitance clear in his voice. "And, in return, we might be able to ask some questions of you in order to meet the report requirements for our behavioral research study! Does — does that sound acceptable, Gordon?"</p>
<p>"I… y-yeah, alright." Gordon was still keeping a significant distance from the group, but he drifted back over slightly, one hand on the glass of the tank. "Alright. Yeah." He seemed to be saying that more for himself than for the others, but Benrey chose not to comment on it.</p>
<p>"see bro," Benrey said instead, "see what happens when you — when you just… you cooperate with the <i>law?"</i> That earned him a harsh glare from Gordon, but no verbal objection, so Benrey was okay with the response.</p>
<p>Even if it made his stomach hurt to see Gordon so mad at him.</p>
<p>Bubby whispered something to Coomer, and while it was hard to fully decipher his expression from behind his thick glasses, Benrey could tell the scientist was upset about something. He and Tommy stood awkwardly by the tank while the two older men discussed something in hushed tones, until Tommy turned back to the tank with a nervous expression.</p>
<p>"Um, h-here, Mr. Freeman, can — can we ask you some questions, maybe?" Gordon glanced at Tommy, then swam over to the corner of the tank closest to the desks, trailing his hand along the glass with a slight scraping noise as he moved. The sound had the unintended effect of dragging Coomer and Bubby out of their private debate, the two men now turning back to the mercreature with apprehension.</p>
<p>"Over here," Gordon called, tucking himself into the corner and bundling his tail around himself. He rested his arms on the pile made by his tail, and Benrey was struck by how tired the moray's eyes looked.</p>
<p>The three scientists hurried over to their desks, grabbing spare papers and pens and gathering in front of the glass. Benrey strolled along after them, hands in his pockets, and he opted to sit down on a nearby desk. Bubby glared at him when he sat down, but Benrey just ignored him.</p>
<p>It's more fun to sit somewhere if it's somewhere he's not supposed to sit, after all.</p>
<p>Everyone knows that.</p>
<p>The next few hours were spent watching Gordon answer various questions, some of them interesting, some of them not. Benrey tried his best to pay attention and, while he did zone out a few times during the more boring sections, he's pretty sure he got the general idea.</p>
<p>The guy's name was Gordon Freeman, and he's a siren, according to him. He's from some ocean with a bunch of caves and colorful fish (Tommy decided it was probably somewhere in the Atlantic), where he'd lived with his 'school' (Benrey made a joke about that, but the eel didn't seem to get it) before getting captured.</p>
<p>That was all the information Gordon seemed willing to share when it came to his home, so the group had stopped asking him such personal questions. Unfortunately, Benrey had stopped paying attention around that time — he didn't know what a 'preferentially carnivorous muraenidae' was and, at this point, he was far too unconcerned to ask.</p>
<p>Eventually, Benrey completely lost track of what they were talking about, instead opting to sift through the papers scattered across the desk he was sitting on. He was hoping to find some juicy science secrets, some high security info that Black Mesa didn’t want him to have, but unfortunately there was nothing that epic.</p>
<p>The most interesting thing he found was a bunch of papers signed by someone named "Dr. Pepper," which was pretty cool.</p>
<p>His snooping efforts ultimately fruitless, Benrey returned to staring at the siren with a distant expression. His thoughts strayed back to the previous night, the oppressive fear and loneliness that had washed over him still lingering at the border of his thoughts.</p>
<p>Gordon was still bundled in on himself, seemingly trying to make himself as small as possible. It was understandable that he'd still be on edge even after talking to the others, but the eel was still shivering and, while Benrey was no scientist, he knew that couldn't possibly be good.</p>
<p>The icy feeling that had come with the flood of emotions came rushing to the forefront of Benrey's mind and, coupled with the fact that the eel was the only one in the room without a shirt, the other's constant trembling suddenly made a lot more sense.</p>
<p>"heyyyy, uh, tommy," Benrey said, leaning forward towards his friend. The man had been writing notes of some sort on a spare piece of paper while the two older scientists playfully bickered about some science subject that Benrey couldn't begin to understand.</p>
<p>Tommy held up one hand for a moment, hurriedly scribbling down a few more words before setting his pen down and turning to Benrey.</p>
<p>"uhh… what, uh…" Benrey trailed off, frowning for a moment, trying to collect his thoughts. He looked over Tommy's shoulder at Gordon, who was watching them intently, one hand on the glass. He seemed to like doing that, though Benrey had no idea why.</p>
<p>"bbbbbbb… fishman is — he's banana man, right? got — epic bastard fish on him, yeah?" Tommy nodded, tilting his head slightly as if to prompt Benrey to continue. "and banana fish gotta have the — gotta have the right stats… can't be with the wrong equipment or they can't — you can't have epic gamer moments. what, like… finman needs the right stats for epic — epic win, so you gotta — gotta do that please? yes? fix — fix that please thank you?"</p>
<p>Benrey frowned, watching Tommy think for a few tense seconds. He hoped Tommy would get what he meant; Benrey didn't want to be too obvious but didn't know how else to convey his concerns without exposing himself as having feelings.</p>
<p>And that wasn't an option for a number of reasons.</p>
<p>"fishman — fishman gotta gamer rage," Benrey added, glancing hesitantly at the siren in question. "gordon fishman don't got — don't got the best vibes in there, not epic… not very epic for him."</p>
<p>"O-Oh! Oh, you're right!!" Tommy jumped to his feet, hurrying over to the tank control computer and typing furiously. Benrey couldn't help but sigh, relieved that his friend understood his frankly nonsensical ramblings so well.</p>
<p>"Wh-What? What are you doing — what'd he say?!" Gordon pulled himself out of his protective ball and swam alongside Tommy, clearly afraid. "Tommy? What's going on?!"</p>
<p>"Don't — don't worry, Mr. Freeman," Tommy said, still typing away, "I'm just — just checking the uh… the t-temperature of the ta — the t — of the water."</p>
<p>"What? Why??"</p>
<p>"bro, chill out," Benrey said, watching Gordon comb his hands through his hair anxiously. "you just gotta uhh… you too chilled out. gotta get — get warm."</p>
<p>"…Huh?" Gordon seemed to relax at that, if only out of confusion, and his face scrunched up as he tried to decipher what Benrey had said.</p>
<p>It was kind of cute if Benrey was being honest, and — nope, none of that, let's stop right there thank you.</p>
<p>"O-Okay, I, um, I turned up the… uh… the water temperature, Mr. Freeman," Tommy said, smiling and taking a step back from the console. "It might take — might take a while to, um, heat up, b-but it should be a bit warmer now!"</p>
<p>"Oh." Gordon seemed confused, rubbing his upper arms gently before glancing over at Benrey. His green eyes were open wide, and Benrey reflexively held up two fingers in a peace sign — in hindsight that probably just confused the poor siren even more. "Um… thanks."</p>
<p>"yeah — yeah no problem bro," Benrey mumbled, hoping his blush wasn't too obvious. <i>This is no time for his gay thoughts to take over, dammit!</i></p>
<p>Luckily, Benrey was saved from his traitorous train of thought when Sunkist let out an insistent bark, getting the attention of everyone in the room. Gordon jumped just like he had before, looking at the dog with a startled mix of bewilderment and uncertainty.</p>
<p>"Wh-What is it, Sunkist?" The dog barked again, nudging her owner's left wrist with her snout. Tommy looked at his wrist, checking the limited edition Beyblade watch he wore, and his eyes widened in shock.</p>
<p>"Oh! When did it — when did it get so late?" Glancing at the digital clock on a nearby desk revealed that it had been over eight hours since Benrey had shown up at the laboratory; his shift had ended a while ago. The others seemed to come to the same conclusion, all standing and beginning to mill around the room in search of their personal items.</p>
<p>Gordon looked even more out of place as the three scientists began to pack up the lab, floating awkwardly and watching them hurry about. Benrey didn't have anything to gather from the room, so he instead walked over to the tank, joining the siren so he'd hopefully feel less awkward.</p>
<p>Benrey leaned against the glass, attempting to be subtle as he watched the moray from the corner of his eye. Gordon was following the movements with his eyes, fins flicking around presumably in response to various sounds he heard. His eyes looked strikingly tired, the deep purple bags beneath them speaking to the moray's exhaustion.</p>
<p>Now that he could look at the merman more closely, Benrey was able to pick out more of the smaller details that had previously escaped his notice. Gordon had both yellow and dark brown splotches on his human half, almost like oversized freckles. His hair had small silvery streaks in it, the grey hairs standing out against the reddish-brown curls floating freely around his head like a halo. The siren also had a small amount of facial hair; Benrey wasn't sure if it would be called a beard or a goatee.</p>
<p>What was most eye-catching about the creature, though, was his tail. The appendage was just as long and winding as it always seemed, mesmerizing as Benrey followed it around the tank. The rough skin was the same dingy yellow as before — the color almost looked sickly, Benrey thought, — with the same striking patterns of dark browns and greys. No two splotches seemed to be the same, and Benrey found himself captivated by the unique patterns decorating Gordon's body.</p>
<p>
  <i>Wonder what his tail feels like…</i>
</p>
<p>Benrey was torn out of his reverie when the room was suddenly plunged into darkness, his eyes taking a second to adjust to the dimmer lighting. Once he'd acclimated himself to the change in brightness, Benrey turned to see Tommy waiting for him by the door, the two older scientists having already left. Tommy gave Benrey a questioning look, tilting his head silently.</p>
<p>Benrey nodded, pushing himself off of the glass and taking a few steps towards the door. Pausing, he turned back to Gordon, the eel still lingering against the glass, one hand on the surface as usual.</p>
<p>"uhhh… see ya, little — little finman." Gordon blinked silently, his pupils wide in the darkness, and his bright green eyes seemed to almost glow in the low light. "gonna… 'm gonna have to come back, though. y'know. 'cause you don't have your passport. gotta keep an eye on you. criminal fish. bastard criminal eel man."</p>
<p>Gordon huffed at that, and Benrey was delighted to see the eel roll his eyes, the simple gesture more comforting than any of the panicked expressions he'd seen from the siren so far. Benrey nodded, giving him a peace sign, and turned to follow Tommy out.</p>
<p>Pointedly ignoring the teasing smile Tommy gave him, Benrey brushed past his friend and continued down the hall, the image of Gordon watching him leave burned into his mind.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Time and Again</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hey everybody!!! sorry for the delay on this chapter; i was working on a few personal projects that took longer than expected!! mostly hlvrai related stuff... but i'm back to focusing mainly on this fic!!!</p>
<p>there is a small part of this chapter that describes the process of taking blood :( it's not very detailed, but just in case, if you want to skip it it's the paragraph that starts with "Gritting his teeth, Gordon willed himself not to react"</p>
<p>one last thing; please check out carricakes lovely fic based on this au, "grabbed a pond frond and held on"!!!! their fic is focusing on gordon's life before capture, namely the development of his school!!! it's absolutely amazing so far, so please go check it out!!!!</p>
<p>thank you for all the support, and i hope you enjoy this chapter!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gordon opened an eye cautiously as the overhead lights were abruptly switched on, the loud hum of the lighting system standing out among the ambiance of the laboratory. His head fins perked up when he heard further movement from the other side of his tank, and the moray carefully peeked out from behind his tail, squinting at the blurry shapes beyond the glass.</p>
<p>Muttering a swear under his breath, Gordon wound his tail tighter around himself. He couldn't see the figures milling around the room clearly, but he could tell that they weren't the group of humans that were the only ones to treat him with any amount of decency while he was trapped here. Their movements were too robotic, too formulaic, and even though it had only been a few days since the kinder humans first spoke to him, Gordon had spent enough time watching them to recognize the group from a distance.</p>
<p>Grumbling to himself, Gordon had to bite back the urge to scare them off. He'd been able to get away with chasing away the callous scientists for the first few days he'd been here and had been able to use his voice to get them to leave him alone for around a week longer than that.</p>
<p>After that, though, they'd proven to be more persistent.</p>
<p>The humans had started coming in larger groups, bringing more tools and weaponry with which to torment Gordon. It quickly got to the point where they were able to overwhelm the leviathan with their sheer numbers, and as soon as they started to threaten his son Gordon had stopped resisting altogether. The humans had refused to tell Gordon anything about Joshua's well-being, but they seemed more than willing to threaten his guppy in order to get Gordon to behave.</p>
<p>Humans truly were despicable.</p>
<p>A series of loud, metallic clanging sounds startled Gordon out of his thoughts, his skin crawling at the mental association he'd developed for the noise. Sure enough, the scientists were now ascending the metal staircase that led to the walkway above his tank. Gordon was always tempted to leap up and rip the scaffolding apart, but he knew that would definitely just make things worse.</p>
<p>Still, the temptation was strong, especially considering that he'd finally have something, <i>anything</i> else in his tank if he did.</p>
<p>It was <i>really</i> fucking tempting.</p>
<p>The humans, now all gathered on the catwalk, began lowering a large fishing net into the tank. Gordon tried to ignore the unease he felt upon seeing the net, instead uncoiling and pushing himself off of the uncomfortable tank floor.</p>
<p>Gordon forced himself to swim towards the scientists and net, despite every fiber of his being begging him to go in the opposite direction. He'd learned the hard way that avoiding these physical tests never worked out — one of Gordon's fresher harpoon wounds throbbed at the memory. It was demeaning and went against everything his instincts told him, but Gordon knew it was better for his chances in the long run if he just acquiesced to his captors' demands.</p>
<p>Drawing closer to the thin mesh Gordon felt his anxiety only continue to get worse. He knew he had to get in the net — <i>just get in and it'll be over quicker</i> — but even glancing at it brought forward painful memories — memories of thin wire cutting his skin, of his son's anguished cries, of the putrid smell of blood permeating warm, salty water.</p>
<p>The scientists on the surface were speaking at him, — <i>at</i>, not <i>to</i>, — their words garbled by the whirring of the machinery operating the net. Gordon wanted to tune them out, but a few words were able to pierce the din, and he couldn't help but listen. He'd always been curious, always sticking his head where it didn't belong.</p>
<p>Look where that had gotten him.</p>
<p>One voice stood out above the aimless chatter, one Gordon knew belonged to one of the scientists responsible for his capture. The man had been part of every group that had come to run these physical tests on the siren, often taunting him on a distinctly personal level. He clearly bore some type of grudge against the moray, and his snide remarks would often be interwoven with comments about his supposed 'revenge' — not that Gordon particularly cared.</p>
<p>This time he was rambling about some other experiment he was assigned to, which he seemed to think Gordon would care about for some reason. From the few words Gordon was able to catch, it seemed to have something to do with another captured creature of some kind, and he was bragging about some sort of 'breakthrough' they'd had with it.</p>
<p>It was all just sadistic nonsense to Gordon, but ironically it helped give him something else to focus on as he waited for the net to fully ensnare him. The chatter was meaningless, and grounding in a distancing way.</p>
<p>That is, until he heard the word 'child.'</p>
<p>If Gordon didn't know better, he would say that time slowed down when he heard the human say that. He did know better, though; knew that the effect was just because he was reacting to a spike of energy, knew that time wasn't really moving any slower. He'd been in enough dangerous situations to be able to recognize the fight or flight effect when he encountered it.</p>
<p>And, looking at the smug smirk on the human's face as they stared down at him, Gordon felt every iota of energy he had pour into the 'fight' side of the equation.</p>
<p>Baring his teeth, Gordon glared at the gathered humans, pupils razor thin. He smacked the slowly rising net away with one powerful swing of his tail, before whirling around to hiss at the taunting scientist.</p>
<p>Gordon felt a sick sense of satisfaction at the fear in the now-cowering human's eyes — satisfaction that only wound up fueling his boiling rage. The man flinched at Gordon's enraged stare, slowly stepping backward in a subtle attempt at retreat.</p>
<p>Mind focused solely on the cowardly scientist, the leviathan launched himself up the surface with practiced ease. Claws digging into the metal scaffolding, Gordon continued to growl, the gathered humans stunned into fearful silence.</p>
<p>Good. They should be afraid.</p>
<p>"Wh-What did you say to it, Charles?" one of the other scientists asked, voice trembling. They all had their eyes locked on Gordon, and their voices were hushed as if they thought the moray couldn't hear them. Gordon cast a glare around the room, sizing them up like he did a group of prey.</p>
<p>"I… I was just talking about the smaller one," the coward replied, glancing at the human who had asked him the question. "How was I supposed to know it'd freak out over the dumb kid?"</p>
<p>"My <i>son,"</i> Gordon snarled, gaze snapping back to his main target. "What did you do to my <i>son?"</i> The human just stammered pitifully, eyes wide and afraid.</p>
<p>As they'd been talking, Gordon had slowly, quietly snaked his tail up onto the catwalk and wound it around the gathered humans without them noticing somehow. Gordon had heard them say that <i>his</i> vision was poor; they didn't even notice the powerful appendage slinking around behind them.</p>
<p>Four of the humans, clad in blue and bearing various weaponry, snapped out of their stupor and made to attack the siren. Gordon paid them no mind, sending all four to the ground with a single lash of his tail and a short, frustrated growl. The other humans seemed to regain awareness at the action, and the room quickly erupted into chaos as they scurried this way and that.</p>
<p>Enraged as he was, Gordon knew better than to leave the water when hunting, even if his prey was on land. And, while this wasn't a traditional hunt, he figured the same principle applied, keeping a firm grip on the dented walkway propping him up above the tank. His tail was more than long enough to encircle the cowardly scientist to keep them from escaping, even with most of it remaining in the tank.</p>
<p>Besides, his tail wasn't the only weapon he could use from a distance.</p>
<p>Opening his mouth, Gordon began to sing, his voice brimming with pain and rage. Many of the humans were quick to crouch to the ground, arms over their heads as they searched their pockets for something, but the coward wasn't quick enough. They flinched at the piercing nature of Gordon's song, before their body went slack, arms falling by their sides.</p>
<p>Gordon slowly wrapped his tail around the human's back, tugging them towards himself as he continued to sing. He pulled until they were on the edge of the catwalk, and the leviathan used his tail to raise himself slightly out of the water so he was looming above the scientist.</p>
<p><i>"What did you do,"</i> Gordon snarled, his words mixing with the venomous song, <i>"to my <b>son.</b>"</i> His eyes narrowed dangerously, and a low, staticky growl rose in his throat to join the cacophony of enraged sound. Gordon's voice wavered slightly, whether from fear or anger he didn't know.</p>
<p>Thinking about it, it was probably from the strain of hypnotizing so many humans at once. Gordon might be a leviathan, but even leviathans have their limits.</p>
<p>The cowardly human didn't reply, too afraid to even attempt to fight the extremely diluted effects of Gordon's song. That only made Gordon angrier. His fins raised like hackles, announcing danger to anyone who saw him. Gordon opened his mouth even wider, wider than any human could, an animalistic hiss escaping from his throat. Siren song still spilled forth from his lips, and his second set of jaws parted, a faint glow visible in the back of his throat.</p>
<p>Gordon narrowed his eyes, filled with an overwhelming desire to make this human <i>hurt.</i> They had all hurt him, and he knew they would continue to do so; there was nothing he could do about that. But this one hurt <i>Joshua,</i> and Gordon couldn't hold back the unbridled animosity that consumed him at that thought.</p>
<p>Before Gordon could begin the piercing wail brewing in his throat, a sudden razor-thin pressure cut off his song, yanking Gordon to the side by his neck. Gordon let out a choked snarl, reaching up to claw at the thin metal encircling his neck.</p>
<p>One of the weapon-bearing humans had managed to sneak up on Gordon during his outrage, lassoing a snare pole around the siren's neck and pulling him off balance. As the moray fought against the painful band choking him, the other humans began to gather, picking themselves up from the ground.</p>
<p>A vicious, primal snarl tore from Gordon's throat, strangled and filled with fear. Another snare slipped over his head, this one pulling in the opposite direction and making Gordon cry out in pain as his throat was battered. His song was abruptly silenced, and his attackers were able to quickly recover due to the relative weakness of his voice.</p>
<p>Spreading the effects of his song across multiple victims always weakened the effects, and that combined with the scientists' progressing understanding of his voice and how to subvert its effects had left Gordon much more vulnerable than he'd thought. His vision went white as the pressure around his neck increased, the weapon-bearing humans forcing the siren back towards the net, now partly out of the water.</p>
<p>Gordon blindly thrashed and fought, overwhelmed by sensory stimuli as the humans rallied themselves. Sharp orders and demands filled the air, the words lost on Gordon as he was blinded by the fluorescent lighting and noise.</p>
<p>The net was raised out of the water, horrid metal screeching accompanying the disorienting feeling of being lifted through the air, and Gordon let out a silent scream of pain and frustration. His aimless thrashing only served to get him further tangled in the thin, painful net, and Gordon could feel small cuts littering his tail where the netting dug into his skin.</p>
<p>Gordon hated the feeling of dangling helplessly in the air, hated how no matter how much he squirmed and scrambled he couldn't get any purchase to work with. He felt lost and trapped, and he couldn't even scream with the metal lassos biting at his vocal cords. Everything was bright and loud and <i>painful,</i> and yet all Gordon could think of was his son being forced through the same unrelenting agony, his heart and head aching in tandem.</p>
<p>There was some more shouting before Gordon was harshly dropped on the metal frame. His arms were pinned to his sides, and his tail was hopelessly tangled in the netting, but Gordon still flailed violently, instinct overriding any conscious thought he might have had. The snare poles — how many were there now? It felt like at least four — forced Gordon's neck to the ground, severely limiting his ability to fight back, although it didn't stop him from trying.</p>
<p>Gordon squeezed his eyes shut, unable to stand the blinding lights assaulting his senses. His fins were flattened against his body, and the moray let out a choked cry of despair as he felt a sharp prick in his neck just below his jawbone.</p>
<p>An overwhelming exhaustion quickly spread through his body, forcing his thrashing to slow. A low growl forced its way out of his chest, but Gordon's limbs refused to move, leaving the siren only able to watch as the scientists descended on his helpless body like a swarm of locusts.</p>
<p>Gritting his teeth, Gordon willed himself not to react as he felt humans poke and prod at his body and tail. Thin, probing tubes were forced into his body, sucking out so much blood that Gordon began to feel light-headed; regardless of how many times he was forced through this process Gordon would never get used to the foreign and invasive feeling, he was sure of it.</p>
<p>Small parts of the net were cut away; not enough to free him from his ensnarement, of course, but enough to give his tormentors access to his vulnerable form. Thin metallic edges were scraped against his tail, stripping Gordon of the protective layer of slime that coated his body. Gordon didn't know why they always took so much from him, but it always left his skin feeling itchy and exposed.</p>
<p>Scientists tugged and pulled at Gordon's various fins, paying no mind to the limits of the appendages. His fins were always left feeling sore afterward, but Gordon was at least thankful that they hadn't yet ripped anything.</p>
<p>Gordon's mind was too sluggish to keep up with the actions of his tormentors, his thoughts drifting between misery and rage. He couldn't string together any cohesive thought, trapped in his own head as he was studied as if he was inanimate. Unthinking.</p>
<p>Just another research subject on a list.</p>
<p>Footsteps approached Gordon's head, stopping directly in front of his face. Opening his eyes, Gordon sluggishly looked up at the human in front of him. The cowardly scientist from before was sneering down at him, staring disdainfully at Gordon's glazed expression, pupils blown wide.</p>
<p>The scientist bent down, grabbing a fistful of Gordon's course hair and yanking his head to the side. They paid no mind to the eel's hiss of pain, gripping his exposed head fin and yanking on it. The human idly chattered as they manipulated Gordon's head, and the few words the siren was able to catch were all dishearteningly clinical and sterile.</p>
<p>After a long, painful period of tugging at his head fins, the scientist finally released Gordon's hair, letting his head return to its position pinned against the metal grate. Gordon assumed they were done, as the scientist began loudly discussing something with one of the other humans, so Gordon let his eyelids droop as his scalp tingled with residual pain. His gills flared with a slight hissing sound, and Gordon let out a strangled whine as he absently registered the uncomfortable feeling of drying out.</p>
<p>The loud discussion had faded from Gordon's field of awareness; all he could focus on was the tugging on his body and dried cracking feeling spreading across his skin. The scientists never bothered to keep him properly wet during these "tests," and Gordon had become uncomfortably familiar with the painful feeling of dehydration.</p>
<p>Gordon's attention was abruptly redirected when the tight grip in his hair returned, forcing his head back. He couldn't hold back a strangled cry of pain, the snares still pinning his neck down and increasing the strain the head movement caused. Eyes flying open, Gordon saw the same cowardly scientist staring down at him with cruel, narrowed eyes, one hand tangled in his hair and tearing at the messy strands.</p>
<p>The siren continued to stare blankly at the human, his eyes glazed over and unfocused. The human's mouth was moving, but Gordon couldn't hear anything but his own heart pounding in his ears. He couldn't bring himself to care though, too focused on the pain and dizziness overwhelming him.</p>
<p>Gordon cried out again as a sudden, sharp pain erupted on the side of his face. The scientist repeatedly slapped Gordon across the face, holding the siren's head in place with the hand buried in his hair. The leviathan was slapped a few more times before the human finally relented, although they didn't release the vice grip on his hair.</p>
<p>Panting, Gordon forced his eyes open again, waiting for the small floating lights to fade from the edges of his vision. The human was leaned in close to the siren's face, staring into his open mouth. They were still speaking, but Gordon still couldn't comprehend a word of it. The dehydration was beginning to catch up with the siren, and he couldn't help but open his mouth wide; his instincts trying to pump water into his dried gills.</p>
<p>Water that wasn't there.</p>
<p>Gordon's vision was swimming, the lightheaded feeling increasing as he failed to get oxygen into his body. He must've blacked out, because the next thing he knew the human's hand was reaching into his mouth, poking at his throat. It took a few tense seconds for Gordon to process his surroundings, his thoughts sluggish. Gordon felt he had algae stuffed in his skull, oozing from his eyes and mouth.</p>
<p>Once he realized what was happening, Gordon felt anger build up in his chest, only highlighted by the pain and fogginess. The scientist probing around in his mouth was still tugging on Gordon's hair, and wasn't even looking Gordon in the eye, handling him like he wasn't even <i>alive.</i></p>
<p>This cowardly human felt so <i>emboldened</i> to treat him with such disdain, in direct spite of his earlier display of aggression. Sure, Gordon wasn't exactly able to fight back at the moment, but this insolent human had the unmitigated <i>gall</i> to disrespect him so <i>openly?</i> It was infuriating.</p>
<p>Squeezing his eyes shut, Gordon let out a low warning growl before snapping his jaws shut, teeth sinking into the scientist's invading hand.</p>
<p>The scientist screamed, yanking on Gordon's hair sharply, but Gordon didn't relent. The sick metallic taste of blood filled the siren's mouth, coating his tongue and slipping hot down his throat. Gordon didn't have the presence of mind to know how he felt about the taste, but he did feel a slight sense of satisfaction at the pained shrieks of his son's tormentor.</p>
<p>Humans began to gather around the head of the siren, shouting and panicked discussion filling the air. Gordon refused to release the human's hand, his sharp teeth grazing bone and cutting through muscle and tendon indiscriminately.</p>
<p>One of the humans began kicking the side of Gordon's head, the repeated impact making his vision flicker and causing a distant ringing in his head. Even still, Gordon didn't release the scientist's hand right away, the moray's jaw only slackening when he lost consciousness for a brief moment.</p>
<p>As the humans argued and shouted, Gordon felt himself drift in and out of awareness, lights and colors blending in a disorienting, psychedelic display. Gordon idly noted the feeling of blood dripping from his head fin, the membrane feeling like it had been severely ripped. There wasn't much he could do about that, though — his mind was still fuzzy, both from the strange effect the humans had put on him and from the pain.</p>
<p>Gordon drifted off again and, when he came to, he was lying on a hard, flat surface, overcome with the familiar weightlessness that came with being underwater. The siren flared his gills thankfully, his skin no longer burning and itching from dehydration, and took a deep, deliberate breath through his gills.</p>
<p>Gordon’s entire body ached and stung, and he could still hardly move, although he was no longer ensnared in the net. Even just flicking his tail took nearly all the energy he had, and his vision was still blurred and unfocused. He could still taste blood in his mouth, and the sharp pain on the side of his head made it impossible for him to forget what had occurred.</p>
<p>Blanky watching the murky water around him, Gordon felt tears prick at the corner of his eyes. His mind drifted back to what set him off in the first place, and the very thought of his guppy going through even a fraction of what he just had made Gordon's heart twist painfully.</p>
<p>Resting on the floor of the tank, Gordon could do nothing but lie there, utterly consumed by pain, heartache, and guilt. He longed for his school, for his son… most of all he longed to be free again. Hot tears leaked from Gordon's eyes, dissipating in the lukewarm saltwater of his prison.</p>
<p>The bright fluorescent lighting shone a spotlight on the miserable siren as he fell into a fitful period of unconsciousness, the buzz of machinery lulling him to sleep, a poor imitation of the sounds of waves from his home.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Tears Rising to the Rim</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>...... heyyy guys.... it totally hasn't been like.... two whole months.... aha......</p>
<p>okay, i am. <i>so</i> sorry. lots of stuff was happening, i didn't really. have time to do anything. and this chapter was a lot harder to figure out for some reason? but!! it's. finally here!!! and it's. wayy longer than i anticipated!! is that a good thing? i have no idea! hopefully it's not too incomprehensible or anything....</p>
<p>i'm gonna do my best to update more regularly from here on out! i should have more time to write, and the coming chapters are gonna be a bit better for me to iron out!! so keep an eye out for that and, again, i am SO sorry.....</p>
<p>it's been forever since these were posted, but!! please go check out <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25321960/chapters/61394578">A Thousand Words Are Left Unsaid</a> by PagesDescending on ao3!! it's a partner fic to this one, focusing on joshua's experiences after being captured!! it's really good, and it gives a good alternate perspective to this fic!!</p>
<p>finally, this chapter has a part with a semi-explicit mention of animal death + other animals eating it. it's the paragraph starting with "As the footage sped by, Benrey was reminded of..." so please skip it if that kind of thing is upsetting to you!! stay safe!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Benrey was in the middle of reciting various video game monologues under his breath when Sunkist came barrelling around the corner, boofing triumphantly as she darted over to the security guard. He hardly had enough time to brace himself before the oversized golden retriever bowled into him, Benrey tumbling over and landing on the ground with a small 'oof.'</p>
<p>Sunkist promptly sat down, letting Benrey sit up and lean against her uniquely large frame as she panted quietly.</p>
<p>"bbbbbbbb… duggie," Benrey mumbled, burying his face in Sunkist's fur. He wrapped his arms around the dog's torso, humming into her fur as the distant sound of squeaking shoes gradually drew closer. If Sunkist was here, then her owner couldn’t be far behind; Sunkist never roamed far when she was on duty. "bbbbubpy…"</p>
<p>As he’d expected, Tommy soon came hurrying around the corner, wearing a nervous expression that lingered even after he spotted Benrey. Benrey leaned away from Sunkist as Tommy approached, tilting his head in a silent question.</p>
<p>"Good girl, Sunkist," Tommy cooed, patting the dog's head gently with a small smile. Sunkist chuffed quietly, and Tommy jolted slightly at the wordless reminder.</p>
<p>"R-right, yes! Benrey, we've, um, we — something went wrong!!" Gently grabbing Benrey's arm, Tommy hoisted the guard to his feet, tugging Benrey along with Sunkist's help.</p>
<p>"whuh… what happened, bro? the — the science not, uh… not science-ing good?"</p>
<p>Benrey frowned in frustration — it sucked when his thoughts got all scrambled coming out of his mouth — but Tommy nodded sincerely, not questioning the disordered mess of words from his friend. Tommy's great that way, always getting what he means even when words are hard.</p>
<p>Shit, wait, Tommy's talking. Right. Conversation.</p>
<p>"Um — k-kinda! I mean — well, I'm not really sure?" Tommy's brow furrowed as he spoke, and Benrey took note of the undertone of anxiety coming from his friend.</p>
<p>Benrey stumbled to get his feet underneath him, opting to trot alongside Tommy instead of being dragged. He didn't bother asking Tommy to slow down as he struggled to match pace, — he knew that Tommy often forgot how much longer his legs were than Benrey's — instead just grabbing Sunkist's collar so she could help him keep up.</p>
<p>"It's, um… they said that — said that something happened," Tommy said, picking at his fingernails as he walked. "With — with Mr. Freeman!" Humming in acknowledgment, Benrey's brow furrowed slightly once the weight of Tommy's words reached him.</p>
<p>It'd been a couple of days since Benrey had last been to visit Gordon, the siren having mostly gotten used to his unprompted appearances. The small team of scientists assigned to study the eel's behavior had also become accustomed to Benrey's visits, never questioning his presence, which Benrey was thankful for. Bothering the moray eel wasn't only fun; it also made Benrey feel some kind of way. What kind of way, he wasn't fully sure, but… well, he wasn't particularly interested in figuring it out.</p>
<p>Feelings are super sucks, after all.</p>
<p>The point is, Benrey hadn't seen the eel in a decent while, leaving him in the dark about any recent developments. Tommy had kept him mostly updated while he was busy pretending to work, but the last Benrey knew Gordon was starting to warm up to the team, with the 'research' — which essentially boiled down to asking a bunch of random, probably science-related questions — going about as well as it could go. It seemed fairly boring and ordinary, as far as Benrey could tell.</p>
<p>Well, apparently that wasn't the case now, if Tommy's anxiety was anything to go by.</p>
<p>Tommy continued to mumble under his breath as he hurried through the halls, Benrey trailing him silently. As the hallways slowly morphed into something more familiar, Benrey noticed that every scientist they passed seemed to be hurrying in the opposite direction, some of them glancing sidelong at the pair as they rushed away. While Benrey was used to being looked at weirdly, there was something different about their stares that only served to make him more nervous than before.</p>
<p>Almost like they thought they were making a mistake, or being careless.</p>
<p>Or something.</p>
<p>Finally, the pair arrived at the entrance to the lab Gordon was in, the hallway completely vacant of scientists aside from the two old men bickering in front of the door. Both of whom turned to face the arriving pair with openly uncomfortable expressions. Benrey probably would've described them as 'concerned,' if it wasn't for Bubby. Bubby probably <i>couldn't</i> look concerned, to be honest.</p>
<p>It always came off more like he was mildly constipated if anything.</p>
<p>Anyways.</p>
<p>"Fucking took you long enough," Bubby complained, arms crossed as he glared at Tommy and Benrey. "They're here, Harold, can we go in now?"</p>
<p>"Yes, Bubby, of course," Coomer sighed, placing a broad hand on Bubby's shoulder. "I just felt that it would be best to wait for the entire team before addressing the… incident."</p>
<p>Hm. Benrey did <i>not</i> like how he said that.</p>
<p>"what’s… uh… wha'happen? with lame-ass fishman?" The others all turned to Benrey, and, oh boy, he did <i>not</i> appreciate the pity he saw in their gazes.</p>
<p>"O-Oh, I thought I mentioned — thought I — um, I thought I told you," Tommy blurted out, still just as nervous as he had been on the walk over. Benrey shook his head and easily plastered a teasing grin on his face.</p>
<p>"nah, brooo. i haven't, uh… haven't leveled up enough yet," he said, eyes locked on the multicolored pin Tommy kept pinned on his lab coat. It was always nice to look at when he didn't want to look up at Tommy's face. "can't hear your epic… brain words. need more exp first."</p>
<p>Tommy frowned in that way he usually did when he was feeling guilty, and Benrey felt his own face fall. Luckily, Dr. Coomer seemed to pick up on the slight air of discomfort, interjecting with his trademark enthusiasm, albeit a bit more diluted than usual.</p>
<p>"Well, Barnrey," Coomer said, "our good friend Gordon has reportedly assaulted a fellow member of the science team!"</p>
<p>"…whuh?" Benrey's eyes unfocused as he took in what the older man had said. "he had a, uhhhhhh… did an epic… epic fight bro? some pvp? exploded some noobs??"</p>
<p>The look of disapproval from Bubby was almost enough to make Benrey feel guilty. Then he heard Tommy snicker nervously, and the relief he felt at seeing his anxious friend lighten up a little was enough to negate any amount of regret he may have felt.</p>
<p>Suck it, old man.</p>
<p>"Indeed!" Coomer's affirmation may have sounded jubilant on the surface, but his voice cracked slightly at the end, betraying his unease. "Bit straight through old Charles' hand!"</p>
<p>"sick," Benrey muttered, ducking his head beneath the shadow of his helmet. There were a few tense seconds where no one said anything, the discomfort between them palpable.</p>
<p>"Well I'm fucking going in," Bubby growled, punching the password into the keypad with a huff. The door hissed as it slid open, stale humidity leaking out of the darkened lab.</p>
<p>Bubby stalked into the laboratory, flicking the lights on with a sneer. Benrey flinched at the sudden bright light, following the scientists inside. It was strange enough that the lights were all shut off, but that was nothing compared to the sight that greeted them.</p>
<p>The first thing Benrey noticed was the sharp smell of disinfectant. Sure, the place usually smelled uncomfortably sterile, but it was so much more intense this time, almost as if every surface in the room had been absolutely drenched in bleach.</p>
<p>Of course, that was quickly made secondary to the disaster zone in Gordon’s tank.</p>
<p>The moray was lying prone on the floor of his prison, haphazardly laid out across the surface. Unlike normally, where Gordon would press himself into whatever wall or corner he could fit himself against, he was much closer to the open space of the tank, although his torso was still near the wall, directly below the upper platform.</p>
<p>What was most concerning, however, was how motionless the siren was. Even when Gordon was curled up in a corner, ignoring the occupants of the room, there would still be small movements that indicated he was paying attention to the going-ons; small flicks of his tail, periodic shudders and twitches, even the occasional full body adjustment.</p>
<p>Now, though, that wasn't the case. Aside from the slight shifts caused by the water currents, the siren was unnervingly still.</p>
<p>Benrey rushed over to the glass of the tank, Tommy close behind him. Upon getting closer, a small, steady stream of bubbles made it clear that Gordon thankfully wasn't dead, although the eel didn’t seem to be faring very well despite that.</p>
<p>His tail was covered in fresh bruises and cuts, and his fins appeared to be torn and swollen. There were segments of his body where Benrey could see slight indents, some of which appeared to have broken skin, and the yellow of his tail was somehow even duller than before, giving the siren an unhealthy pallor.</p>
<p>Most concerning was his head, however; the water surrounding it was stained a pale pink with blood. Benrey couldn't see Gordon's face clearly, but what he could see was severely bruised and cut, even more so than the rest of his body.</p>
<p>"Mr… Mr. Freeman??" Tommy tried, glancing at Benrey nervously. Gordon didn't respond, laying still even as Bubby and Coomer joined the two at the glass. "Are you… is — is he okay?"</p>
<p>"I'm… I'm not sure!" said Coomer, folding his arms behind his back. "It… doesn't look very promising, though, does it?"</p>
<p>"No shit," Bubby scoffed, voice contrastingly loud against the hushed murmurs of the others, "fucker looks dead." Benrey saw Tommy and Coomer frown at Bubby out of the corner of his eye, but he kept his gaze locked on the despondent eel. His stomach twisted the longer he stared at Gordon, and he soon couldn't stand the tension any longer.</p>
<p>Benrey knocked on the glass harshly, the sound echoing through the chamber. It was loud, it was obnoxious, and it got the attention of everyone in the room.</p>
<p>Gordon included.</p>
<p>With a pained hiss, Gordon jolted awake, head swiveling around as he held himself up on his arms. His gaze finally landed on the small gaggle of humans, and Benrey heard a sharp inhale from Coomer as they all took in the state of their <s>friend?</s> <s>test subject?</s> <s>co-worker?</s> Gordon.</p>
<p>The entire left side of his face was already developing some nasty bruises, purples, blues, greens and yellows blossoming across his tanned skin. Cuts and lacerations dotted his face as well, and his hair and beard were slightly matted with blood, although it was beginning to be washed out in the water.</p>
<p>Most concerningly, however, was his left facial fin. The fin was crumpled and broken, the membrane torn and bleeding even now. Gordon had the fin pressed flat against his face, and he flinched every time he'd flick it instinctively.</p>
<p>"Gordon?" Coomer was anxiously pulling on his hands, watching Gordon's pupils expand and contract rapidly as he tried to focus on them. A few seconds later, he seemed to finally realize they were there, eyes focusing and expression brightening — his facial fins flicked forward and he hissed in pain at the sudden movement.</p>
<p>There was a low humming sound that came from the captured siren, pupils dilating again as he half-swam half-crawled towards the glass. Gordon awkwardly sat down against the wall, his gaze still slightly unfocused, and he placed a clawed hand against the transparent wall.</p>
<p>"you, uh… you look a bit shit, bro," Benrey said, briefly placing his hand over Gordon's in an attempt at a high-five. "bit uh… it’s a bit sucks." The siren took a concerningly long time to respond to Benrey’s action, brow furrowing as he pulled his hand back from the glass, looking at his palm with apparent confusion.</p>
<p>"How are you feeling, Gordon?" asked Coomer, brows creased in concern. Gordon let out a slight hissing sound, bubbles flowing out of his gills, and pressed his head against the cool glass.</p>
<p>"Gordon… Gordon hurting," mumbled the siren, his voice more muffled by the water than it usually was. Bubby scoffed dramatically at that, turning and stalking off towards the various storage units beside the tank, shoes clicking loudly as he went, while the others examined the siren nervously.</p>
<p>"It, um… it looks that way," Tommy said, smiling gently. "Are you — um — wh-what happened?" Gordon only hummed in response, his eyes slipping closed.</p>
<p>"bro are you like… good?" Gordon still didn't respond outside of another small noise, and Benrey turned as Bubby returned, holding a clipboard in one hand.</p>
<p>"Fucker got tranquilized," Bubby explained, frowning at the clipboard. "It probably hasn't worn off yet."</p>
<p>"Oh, is that his — his testing chart?" Tommy looked over Bubby's shoulder at the paper, Coomer right on his heels. Benrey glanced over as the three scientists examined the chart, opting to stay by the loopy, barely lucid moray instead. Gordon was making a weird, hissing growl-like sound, picking at the webbing between his fingers idly and mumbling to himself.</p>
<p>"How the <i>fuck</i> did he manage to get some bastard's hand in his mouth?!" Bubby cried, shoving the clipboard into Coomer's hands with a — frankly? — completely expected amount of drama. "They were only supposed to collect biological samples for research!!"</p>
<p>"Well," Coomer began, scanning the clipboard with a skeptical expression, "in theory, that wouldn't be a very invasive study at all!" The older man passed the clipboard off to Tommy, who began flipping through the pages with a slight frown. "But… well, we are all more than aware of the more… <i>unorthodox</i> research practices of the Black Mesa facility!"</p>
<p>"That’s one word for it," Bubby snorted, rolling his eyes. "Fuckers have no respect for the scientific method." The older scientist seemed to be incapable of staying still for any prolonged period of time, already making his way over to one of the nearby desktops and tapping away at the keyboard. "Bunch of fuckin' morons."</p>
<p>"Now, now, professor Bubby," Coomer said, making his way over to the other scientist and standing over his shoulder, "we mustn't discredit our esteemed co-workers, no matter how ineffectual their research methods may be!" Bubby didn't reply but for a quiet mutter of 'doctor,' and continued hammering away at the computer incessantly.</p>
<p>Tommy glanced over at Benrey, brow furrowed slightly, but the guard could only half-shrug in response before returning his attention to the woozy siren. Gordon had been attempting to listen to the scientists' conversation but had evidently gotten lost, and was now back to picking at his fins, this time one of the small ones right at his hip.</p>
<p>In watching Gordon, Benrey noticed just how expressive the moray could be, seemingly entirely without his knowledge. His fins were always rising and falling, flicking around in transparent expressions of his emotions. He was very physically expressive and, even when he was just sitting quietly, his arms and tail still waved around, conveying his silent frustration.</p>
<p>And that wasn't even mentioning the siren's <i>eyes.</i></p>
<p>Gordon's eyes had fascinated Benrey since the first moment he saw the eel face-to-face, their bright green color enrapturing. Over time Benrey had noticed that the shade of green seemed to change with the siren's emotions; when he was calm Gordon's eyes would take on a dull forest-y color, and when he was upset they almost seemed to glow a bright searing green.</p>
<p>And that wasn't even mentioning Gordon's pupils, — they seemed to be almost like a cat's, from what Benrey could tell, — expanding and contracting with both the light and his emotions. Right now they were wide and glassy — dilated as a result of whatever the researchers had drugged him with — and profoundly unfocused, almost like he could hardly see his surroundings.</p>
<p>"Got it!" Bubby stood up triumphantly as he cried out, grinning proudly as he gestured toward the computer screen. "You're all so fucking lucky I'm here." Coomer and Tommy were quick to crowd around the monitor and, after a brief moment of hesitation, Benrey elected to join them, with Gordon eventually swimming along behind.</p>
<p>On the screen was a window playing grainy footage that Benrey recognized to be from one of the facility's security cameras, showing an aerial view of the tank's observation deck. The timestamp indicated the recording was from earlier this morning and all that could be seen was the empty room, along with a blurry smudge in the tank that Benrey assumed was Gordon.</p>
<p>"Marvelous idea, professor Bubby!" Coomer chirped, clapping a hand on Bubby's shoulder with a smile. "Now we can see precisely what occurred this morning!"</p>
<p>"<i>Doctor.</i> And damn straight!" Bubby said, grinning proudly. "What can I say, I'm a fucking genius!" Tommy smiled placatingly in response, nodding along, while Benrey just stared blankly.</p>
<p>Bubby turned back to the computer, scrubbing through the footage in search of something significant. As they searched, Benrey spared a glance behind him, only to find that Gordon had returned to the nearby corner, either not seeing or not caring about what was on the screen. He had his eyes closed, and a quiet buzzing sound was coming from the siren’s direction.</p>
<p>After a few hours of nothing more than minor movements from Gordon, a group of scientists finally walked on screen, climbing the stairs to the observation deck escorted by a few security guards. Bubby slowed the recording back down to regular speed, and the group of humans watched the earlier events unfold with bated breath.</p>
<p>Nothing out of the ordinary seemed to be happening at first; while they all knew tying Gordon in a fishing net wasn't necessary so long as you were respectful, it was no surprise that the less humane research groups had to resort to such harsh restraints. It all appeared fairly bog-standard for a sample gathering test — that is, until Gordon froze up.</p>
<p>It was clear that Gordon overheard something that made him upset, seeing as he whirled around to glare daggers at one scientist in particular. The siren soon lunged at the gathered researchers, catapulting himself partially onto the observation deck and coiling part of his tail around the panicking humans. His mouth began to move, and Benrey realized that Gordon had begun singing, the song painful and disarming; at least, going off of the reactions from the scientists.</p>
<p>Gordon tugged the scientist he'd been yelling at closer to him, his malice clear even through the distorted footage. He seemed to be almost caught in between anger and sadness, and Benrey wondered what could have possibly driven him to display such disgust.</p>
<p>Even his teasing had never gotten the eel this riled up.</p>
<p>The group watched as Gordon's rage was cut short as one of the security guards looped a snare pole around his neck and yanked him to the ground. Benrey heard Tommy hiss in sympathy as the recording of Gordon flailed around helplessly, scrambling for purchase as he was forced into submission, more guards and even some scientists joining the fray. Gordon had always seemed so unbelievably powerful and untouchable, so to see him reduced to a helpless, squirming mess made the whole group feel like they were somehow intruding on something they shouldn’t see.</p>
<p>Bubby stepped in and sped up the recording, none of the gathered people wanting to linger on the moray's suffering. One scientist injected a tranquilizer into the back of the siren's neck and Gordon's thrashing was soon rendered pointless, the siren only able to muster small, weak movements.</p>
<p>As the footage sped by, Benrey was reminded of one time when, having snuck out of Black Mesa during a break, he came across a dying deer. The poor creature was barely still alive — it was probably hit by a truck — and couldn't even stand. He'd watched the deer from a distance for a while, and soon enough, a slew of buzzards, badgers, and other scavenging animals emerged from the surrounding area and began picking the injured deer apart, not even waiting for it to die before they descended upon their prey.</p>
<p>That scene had always stuck with Benrey, (although mostly because he thought it was cool looking) even however many years later. Now, watching the helpless eel siren was preyed upon by uncaring scientists, Benrey couldn't help but draw parallels between the two scenes.</p>
<p>Especially when one younger scientist began beating Gordon mercilessly, slapping him around while squatting in front of the moray's head.</p>
<p>The onlooking team couldn't see what was happening in the footage, other scientists standing in between Gordon's head and the camera, but the continued shuddering and flinching from their aquatic friend let them know that, whatever was going on, it wasn't pleasant for the siren.</p>
<p>This continued for a few minutes — seconds, as the footage sped by — until chaos broke out, pixelated scientists erupting into chaos as something unclear happened. Finally having a clear view of Gordon's face, the team was greeted to the sight of Gordon holding the hand of the scientist previously beating him tightly in his jaws, his head and upper body being dragged around as the panicking human screamed and flailed.</p>
<p>Tommy visibly flinched when one of the guards began violently kicking the siren's head, but Benrey almost couldn't look away. It was <i>horrible</i> and the very sight of it made his stomach turn, but Benrey felt like he owed it to Gordon to at least witness his pain.</p>
<p>Standing alongside him or something like that.</p>
<p>A solid minute of footage later the scientist's hand was freed, and even the blurry, pixelated footage made the wound look grisly and painful. Frankly, Benrey didn't particularly care, seeing as Gordon was bleeding profusely as well, laying hardly conscious on the hard metal observation deck.</p>
<p>A few of the humans roughly shoved Gordon back into the water, only barely bothering to cut him free from the net ensnaring him before they rolled him away with their feet. The scientists and guards continued to bustle around, rushing the injured one off to supposedly be treated but neglected to acknowledge the now completely unconscious siren bleeding on the floor of his prison.</p>
<p>Bubby roughly tapped a few keys, and the recording was removed from the screen. The gathered humans stood in awkward silence for a few tense seconds, no one daring to breach the discomfort now hanging heavily between them, at least at first.</p>
<p>"…Well, gentlemen," Coomer chirped, jubilance clearly forced, "it — it appears we have our answer!" Clasping his hands together, the older man had a strained, almost manic grin, eyes pinched in a clear expression of discomfort.</p>
<p>Bubby snorted, a bitter grin of contempt on his face, and turned on his heel again to aggressively sift through the stack of papers adjacent to the computer. Meanwhile, Benrey turned back towards Gordon, the moray not having moved at all since he last looked over, albeit his posture seeming a bit tenser.</p>
<p>"bro that's… uh… pretty sucks," Benrey plainly stated, making his way back over to the siren, "pretty uncool." Gordon opened his eyes abruptly, blinking rapidly before turning his attention to Benrey again. His gaze was more focused this time, and less glassy — the tranquilizer seemed to be wearing off more the longer he was up and about.</p>
<p>"Yeah, it… it does… is… uh… pretty sucks," Gordon said, and Benrey felt a surge of relief at the relative coherency of the siren's sentence. "You're… yeah. It, uh, hurts!" There was a gentle buzzing sound beneath Gordon's rambling — wait, is he <i>purring?</i> Tommy said cats purred for — for like, self-soothing; is that what Gordon was doing?</p>
<p>Benrey noticed Tommy walk up beside him, Sunkist pressing herself against both Tommy and Benrey, thick fur only adding to her oversized form. Tommy seemed to be leaning back against his dog, dropping one hand to clutch at her harness.</p>
<p>"Mr. Freeman, how — why did you, um, attack in the — in the first place?" Tommy gripped Sunkist's harness tightly as he stammered, brow creased in worry and clear confusion. "We couldn’t — um — couldn’t tell what — what they were doing before you… before you bit them. Or — or what they were, um… what they were saying at the start." Gordon frowned back at him, seeming almost confused, before his expression morphed into one of blatant frustration.</p>
<p>"Fucking bastard won't — wouldn't shut <i>up,</i>" Gordon hissed, claws scraping against the glass. "He hurt — he hurt Joshie ‘nd… 'nd then he <i>laughed</i> about it." The leviathan was now growling beneath the disjointed rambling, baring his teeth in aggression.</p>
<p>Benrey glanced over at the other scientists, Bubby having wandered back over with a paperclipped packet of paper and leaning against Coomer as he flipped through it with a frown. Coomer and Tommy both looked clearly uncomfortable, and Benrey noticed that both of them fidgeted with their own hands when antsy. And a quick glance at the frustrated siren revealed that he was doing the same, albeit more aggressively.</p>
<p>Huh.</p>
<p>Guess they really aren't so different.</p>
<p>"'Sides," Gordon added after a brief moment of silence, "the, uh… th' coward asked for it."</p>
<p>"H-How?" Tommy asked. Gordon paused, before quirking his lips upwards ever so slightly, the barest hint of a smirk on his face.</p>
<p>"Put… put his hand in m’mouth," the eel said, shrugging. "Pokin' around my… uh… teeth and stuff. Jaws."</p>
<p>Bubby burst out cackling just as Benrey let out a series of low chuckles, and even Tommy couldn't help but snicker to himself quietly.</p>
<p>"wow," Benrey said, grinning, "top ten epic fail moments number fifteen. science boy stupid brain."</p>
<p>"Indeed, I am… not quite sure what our co-worker expected!" Coomer exclaimed. Tommy nodded his agreement, still giggling to himself.</p>
<p>"dumb, uh… stupid lame-ass science boy… chasing that, uh… epic vore moments."</p>
<p>Tommy abruptly snorted in startled disgust, and Benrey grinned triumphantly at his friend's restrained snickering, quickly drowned out by a sharp cackle from Bubby across the room.</p>
<p>"Benrey oh my <i>god,</i>" Tommy gasped between giggles, unable to keep a straight face. Gordon, who had been looking on with an amused expression, tilted his head slightly, brow furrowing in confusion.</p>
<p>"What… wha's that?" <i>Oh god,</i> Benrey thought, <i>he's going to do it, Gordon's gonna say it, he's gonna ask, he's gonna say it. Oh my god.</i> "Vo-oore?"</p>
<p>Benrey couldn't help it. He burst into laughter, cackling as he clutched his stomach, leaning against the tank. Bubby started cackling even louder, and Tommy just gave Benrey a disappointed look combined with a bemused smile.</p>
<p>"Vorarephilia," Coomer began, "(often shortened to vore) is a paraphilia characterized by the erotic desire to be consumed by, or sometimes to personally consume, another person or creature, or an erotic attraction to the process of eating in general practice." All eyes in the room turned to face the older scientist with varying degrees of horror and delight, which only increased as he continued rambling. "Since vorarephilic fantasies cannot usually be acted out in reality, they are often expressed in stories or drawings shared on the Internet. The word <i>vorarephilia</i> is derived from the Latin vorare (to "swallow" or "devour"), and Ancient Greek φιλία (philía, "love")."</p>
<p>"Harold, dear, with all due respect," Bubby said, cutting Coomer off, "shut the fuck up. Please. Or I will divorce you on the spot." Coomer just smiled cheerily, clasping his hands in front of him, but mercifully ending his… <i>informative</i> tirade. Benrey pulled his helmet down over his face, still chuckling to himself, but looked back up at a sudden burst of bubbling from directly beside him.</p>
<p>A flurry of bubbles flowed out of Gordon's gills, the siren heaving a deep sigh, fins and tail drooping. Burying his head in his hands, a frustrated groan could be heard, muffled by the tank and his own talons.</p>
<p>"No," the moray mumbled, "m'not… not listening. I… I don't, uh… hear it. 'M gonna… no."</p>
<p>"Damn, they really <i>fucked</i> you up, huh?" Bubby snarked, raising an eyebrow judgmentally as he abruptly changed the subject, something Gordon appeared to be grateful for. "Can't believe those morons call themselves scientists. What would they even learn from beating the shit out of you? I mean, I'm nothing if not unnecessarily violent, but this is ridiculous! Did they <i>bust your fin?"</i></p>
<p>Gordon scoffed, his facial fins flicking backward instinctively. He promptly winced at that, eyes squeezing shut and body tensing as he let out a pained hiss. A low, irritated rumble rose in his throat, eyes narrowing as he let a frown fall over his face.</p>
<p>"Ye-yeah, no <i>shit,</i>" Gordon growled, wiggling the tip of his tail slightly. "Your school's… real fucked up… why d'your… uh… your leviathans let em do this — this shit?" Frowning, Gordon adjusted his reclining position, crossing his arms as he glanced over at the others. "If you… if they aren't doin' it right, then why d'you let 'em?"</p>
<p>"…wuh?" Benrey tilted his head slightly, staring up at Gordon in confusion. He glanced over at Tommy, but his friend didn't appear to have any better idea what Gordon was talking about than he did.</p>
<p>"Your — y'know, your leviathans!" Gordon's brow furrowed in confusion, and he tilted his head opposite to Benrey's. "Is this… is your whole school like… like the, uh… the assholes from… before?"</p>
<p>"We don’t really, um… d-don’t really have a school, Mr. Freeman," Tommy explained, "that — that’s really just a-a fish thing."</p>
<p>"You… you don’t?" Gordon sounded so genuinely confused, tail waving around idly. "Don't… but I thought you — you move around in groups and stuff, right?"</p>
<p>"While we do operate primarily in groups of scientists here at the Black Mesa facility," said Coomer, "I do not believe that our work partnerships are analogous to your siren 'schools.' While family groups can be formed, traditionally consisting of romantic partners and any children they give birth to or adopt, it is rare for any large group of humans to live together if they do not have any biological or legal relation to one another."</p>
<p>"So you… you just live alone?" Gordon's frown deepened, and he looked between the others with something almost akin to concern. "That's… I… that's horrible. Being alone's… it’s not good."</p>
<p>An awkward silence fell over the group, the humans unsure how to respond as Gordon flicked his tail around, gaze growing distant. There was an experienced tone to his disjointed comment that spoke to an underlying experience. The moray rumbled idly, eyes narrowing as the water swished around his still tender fins.</p>
<p>"isn't like… super alone," Benrey muttered, picking at his fingernails. "'s like… only a little. gotta… gotta team-up. need a full squad to take on the big bad."</p>
<p>Gordon squinted at Benrey, tail falling still, and Benrey couldn't tell if he was confused, or just trying to see. It was clear the eel didn't have the best vision. Luckily, Tommy seemed to catch on quickly, jumping in after the silence went on for a little too long.</p>
<p>"What — what Benrey means, Mr. Freeman, is — is that we don't, um… we aren't all alone! We all have… um, have family a-and friends, and we don't — don't stay alone all the time!" Tommy reached down to pet Sunkist, the dog huffing appreciatively in response. "L-Like, I have Sunkist, a-and Benrey, and… um, some other people, who — who keep me company! Just — just like how we keep you company!"</p>
<p>The siren seemed to consider this for a moment, glancing between the group with his brow furrowed ever so slightly. He almost looked surprised, but a small, hesitant smile soon spread across his face, eyes widened in understanding.</p>
<p>"It's still… weird," he said, tone more teasing than confused, "human schools are… weird." His fins perked up suddenly and, after another pained hiss and readjustment, Gordon turned back to them with a curious, excited expression. "Wait, who — who protects everyone? You don't… none of you <i>feel</i> like — like leviathans… at least, I didn't think you did."</p>
<p>"Hey! I'm totally a leviathan, whatever that is!"</p>
<p>"Bubby, dearest, what exactly <i>is</i> a leviathan?" asked Coomer, fixing him with a bemused look.</p>
<p>"No fucking clue! But it sounds awesome as hell, and that's <i>me, baby!"</i></p>
<p>"Are… are you?" Gordon asked, head tilted as he looked closer at Bubby. "You don't… y'sure don't act like one…"</p>
<p>"U-Um! Mr. Freeman," Tommy interjected, cutting Bubby off before he could start objecting, "what… could you explain what — what a leviathan <i>is,</i> maybe?"</p>
<p>"Huh?" Glancing at Tommy, Gordon frowned. He seemed to be responding more cohesively, which the group was thankful for. "Yeah, sure, I… I guess." Shifting his tail once more, Gordon started picking at his finger webbing, pushing himself up into something closer to a ‘standing’ position.</p>
<p>"A leviathan’s the one who’s, uh… who’s supposed to protect everybody," Gordon explained. "They use their bigger size and their Voice to make sure that the — the whole school is safe… and nobody gets hurt. Usually, they do, like… patrols and stuff? Just to make sure that no dangerous… uh… rival schools or groups of humans come too close to the school. They’re responsible for the safety of everyone, and if they don’t do a good job then the school or — or the other leviathan will kick them out, or force them to pass their Voice on to someone who can do a better job protectin’ everybody."</p>
<p>"So… so it’s like a — a magic security guard?" Gordon frowned at Tommy, mouth quirking in frustration.</p>
<p>"It’s not <i>magic,</i>" the siren insisted, tail flicking back and forth, "a leviathan’s Voice is completely natural! Just — just because you humans can’t do it doesn’t mean it’s <i>magic</i>!!" Benrey couldn’t help but snort at Gordon’s overdramatic response, which only resulted in the eel pouting even more.</p>
<p>"Wait, so leviathans are even bigger than you?" Bubby exclaimed, raising an eyebrow at Gordon. "Fuck, how big do you sirens get?!"</p>
<p>"Not, uh… not much larger," Gordon replied, face scrunching up in thought. "At least, not as far as I know? From what I remember eel sirens tend to be some of the longest? And I never really met other leviathans very often… deep-sea sirens are probably bigger, but I’ve never met any."</p>
<p>"oh shit? gordos… gordos eelman got big boy epic skills? got… five hundred hours in, uh… call of duty: shoot a man? epic k-d ratio? got that, uh… great cool win streak? swag special powers ‘n shit?"</p>
<p>"What the <i>fuck</i> did you just say, even?” Benrey was used to the unamused silence that typically followed his mildly disjointed ramblings, but it had been a while since anyone had actually taken him up on his bullshit, and Gordon’s incredulous stare was worth so much more than the moray could’ve even begun to understand. "No, seriously, what — what does that <i>mean?</i> Half of those aren’t even — don’t even make any <i>sense</i>!!"</p>
<p>"I, um… I think Benrey is just — he’s just impressed that you’re a-a leviathan, Mr. Freeman!" Gordon turned his bewildered look on Tommy, stammering slightly. It was entertaining to watch the siren flounder — <i>heh, flounder,</i> — with the nonsense-riddled statements Benrey was so fond of. It wasn’t nonsense, it was just… raw, unorganized stream of consciousness.</p>
<p>What can he say; he’s a gamer.</p>
<p>"I… yeah?" Gordon coiled his tail into a neater bundle on the tank’s base as he turned back towards Benrey, tilting his head questioningly. "You’ve — I’ve <i>used</i> my Voice on you before."</p>
<p>"…huh." Frowning slightly, Benrey recalled the second time he’d spoken to Gordon, the strange, floating feeling he’d felt when he snuck in to see the captive eel. Was that weird feeling from his totally-science-based magic mood voice? "wild. that’s, uh… s’not very cool of you, bro. not very swag. unepic fishman moments."</p>
<p>"You were — you could’ve been dangerous!" Gordon argued. "I didn’t — I didn’t know you weren’t gonna, like, hurt me!"</p>
<p>"oh, yeah. lame-ass benrey moments, i guess." Fiddling with the sleeve of his dress shirt, Benrey hummed quietly to himself, guilt suddenly weighing him down. It felt bad, remembering how he kinda fucked up with Gordon, and as always his first instinct was to cover up his discomfort with rambling humor. "wow uhh… humans do an epic fail, huh. major sucks. gonna return to the ocean with my swag new fishbro. gonna go uhhhhhhhhhh… protoman z. digivolve."</p>
<p>"Wh- pfft-!" Gordon snorted in shock, bursting into surprised giggles. "What does — that’s — <i>what</i>? Is he  — are you <i>always</i> this incomprehensible?"</p>
<p>"As far as I can tell," Bubby snarked, rolling his eyes. Benrey smirked at him in response, shrugging.</p>
<p>"brooo can’t believe you’d be so <i>mean</i>… super lame. bubby not epic moments. sucks." Gordon started snickering again, and Benrey noticed that his tail wiggled cutely along with his subdued laughter, and the guard couldn’t help but smile at that, eyes widening slightly. Tommy gave him a knowing grin, but mercifully decided to change the subject, and not to tease Benrey. Pretty poggers of him, to be honest. Swag Tommy moment.</p>
<p>"Mr. Freeman, um… how did — how does your ‘Voice,’ uh, w-work, exactly? Is it — do you just, um, scream really loudly? Or is it, um, something else?"</p>
<p>"Ah, yes," Coomer said, grinning, "I am quite curious as to how this ‘siren Sweet Voice’ works, Gordon!" Shaking off a few final giggles, Gordon looked towards the scientists with a lingering smile.</p>
<p>"Yeah, it’s — I don’t just — just scream? That’s… that’s really weird. A-And ‘Sweet Voice’?"</p>
<p>"I think it’s fitting!" Coomer chirped, staunchly unbothered by Gordon’s confusion. Gordon exhaled heavily through his gills, bubbles floating up to the surface.</p>
<p>"Normal leviathan Voice," Gordon continued, not addressing Coomer’s reply, "usually just makes you feel… calm, I think. I’ve never — I never felt it myself, but it’s supposed to relax a threat, make ‘em not fight back. Sorta takes over their thoughts, I think. But, um, mine’s a little — a little different.</p>
<p>"When a Voice is passed down, it can — sometimes it changes. Mutates, sorta. I don’t really know how it works… didn’t really get, um… didn’t have anyone to explain this stuff to me…" Trailing off, Gordon’s gaze turned distant for a moment, some silent, unspoken thought putting a damper on his mood. "Uh — b-but! Mine is — mine apparently mutated, from what I could tell? I can, um… sorta make people feel things! Like — like project thoughts and emotions! Stuff like that. Jen also said that sometimes she’d see things when I sang, so I think I can also show — like, memories and whatever I’m seeing, or something like that. I don’t — I can’t use my Voice on myself, so I’m not completely sure."</p>
<p>Smiling nervously, Gordon finished rambling, looking between the scientists and Benrey with a hopeful expression. His tail was waving and writhing around the tank, and it almost looked like he was going to get himself tangled with how aimless and nervous the movements were. Tommy was taking notes with a notepad he carried on Sunkist’s harness, and Dr. Coomer was listening to Gordon intently, his brow slightly furrowed in interest.</p>
<p>"I see! Fascinating!" Bubby scoffed at Coomer’s emphatic praise, rolling his eyes behind his thick glasses frames. "Security Guard Benrey, you experienced Gordon’s ‘Sweet Voice,’ correct?"</p>
<p>"uh… yeah. unpog. not swag, super lame."</p>
<p>"What did — um, do you think you could… could describe it, maybe?" Tommy asked, lowering his notepad and looking to Benrey with a hopeful smile. "Just so… um, so we could — could know how it — how it works, um, better? Since Mr. Freeman can’t… can’t describe it very well…?"</p>
<p>"huh…? uh, yeah, sure bro." Hoisting himself up onto the desk he’d been leaning against, Benrey smacked his lips a few times, thinking back to what was apparently siren magic and not just a poorly timed dissociative episode. "it was like… just brain off moments. fishman did some epic singing, swag music, and then i was super tired, man. felt lots. felt super big much. big sad, big hurt feels." Frowning slightly, Benrey kept his eyes on his hands as he fiddled with his sleeve. He didn’t know why he felt so anxious, but it was a super unepic feeling. Not swag.</p>
<p>"first it was just… mega big sads. brain feels, y’know? major sucks. then, uhhhhhhh… started hurtin’ bro. ‘s like… whole body hurt. lots big. not poggers. feelin’ all the unepic fishboy stuff, super lame. eelman did a big angry, and little benrey felt the big angry moments. big head hurt and brain sad." A quiet swishing sound came from the tank beside Benrey, and after a few quiet seconds, Gordon’s strange static rumbling sound could be heard from directly next to the guard. It sounded like he was a printer that had a really bad paper jam, and was weirdly reassuring for how abnormal the sound was.</p>
<p>"but uhhh… it was mostly just brain fog. ‘s like my controller was unplugged, bro. couldn’t do the epic moves like usual. didn’t feel bad, though. weird. but not bad. i was just vibing, man, just being epic poggers vibe moments. no bad vibes just chillin’. couldn’t move but it’s like i didn’t want to anyways. for a bit. but then gordos stopped spoutin’ those chill beats and the buff wore off man. real slow though. too op please nerf."</p>
<p>Once he finished rambling, Benrey tugged harshly on his sleeves, hiding his hands beneath the fabric, and reached up to tap on his helmet. Tommy was still scribbling notes on the pad he had, smiling up at the guard reassuringly as he did. The eel siren was still purring absently and Benrey appreciated the attempt at comfort, even if it was a bit strange.</p>
<p>"…Hm! I must say, gentlemen," said Coomer, "this is fucking weird!" By breaking the short silence with a completely in-character cheery outburst, Coomer alleviated much of the lingering tense atmosphere from earlier. Gordon’s surprised chuckling also helped relieve the tension, his tail and uninjured fins wiggling around. Benrey grinned, happily watching the eel, Gordon so much lighter and less burdened than he had been over the past few weeks, albeit understandably so.</p>
<p>"It’s — it’s not that weird," Gordon said between giggles. "If anything, your human things are fucking weird! I don’t — almost <i>nothing</i> you say makes <i>any</i> sense; what — how do you <i>understand</i> Benrey??"</p>
<p>"We don’t!" replied Coomer, easily coaxing more laughter out of Gordon. Benrey just shrugged, grinning at Gordon lazily.</p>
<p>"s’not my fault you’re not a gamer," Benrey teased, smirking. "you just don’t have the epic gamer skills to perceive me, bro. big sucks for you. gotta get on the gamer grind. get those swag rare drops."</p>
<p>"Yeah, that’s just fucking nonsense," scoffed Bubby, grinning at Benrey challengingly. "Only you could make the magical ‘brain pain’ voice sound so fucking stupid."</p>
<p>"It’s not <i>magic,</i>" insisted Gordon, pouting in frustration. "And it’s — it’s not just for hurting people! I-I mean, sure, other leviathan’s Voices might be more… aggressive, but I don’t just hurt people!"</p>
<p>"Wh-what else do, um… what else do you do with it, Mr. Freeman?" Gordon frowned, muttering under his breath while running his clawed hands through his hair.</p>
<p>"Uh… shit, well… I can, like, convey emotions, right? Make people feel things? So I can use that for, like, for good things, too! Here, I’ll just," adjusting his tail, the siren perked up, looking back towards the others, "I’ll just show you."</p>
<p>Before anyone could reply, Gordon opened his mouth and began to sing, melodic tones bubbling out from between his lips. His song was much softer than what Benrey remembered, gentle and soothing in a much less disconcerting way than before. It felt less like he was being locked off from his brain and more like the sound was lulling him into a much more natural feeling of comfort. Benrey let his eyes slip shut, letting the keen sense of relaxation wash over him.</p>
<p>The moment he did, he immediately understood what Gordon meant by ‘sharing memories.‘</p>
<p>He was floating, warm seawater lapping at his shoulders as he lazily stared up at the sky. It was night, the sky dark and boundless, stretching beyond the horizons and littered with an unending array of stars. The jet black water beneath him reflected the blues, greens, and purples shimmering in the night sky, and the soft light of the moon was the only thing illuminating the empty seas. Waves rocked his body back and forth, the repetitive motion gentle and soft in the calm quiet of the night, the distant siren’s song only adding to the soothing atmosphere. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Benrey knew none of what he was feeling was real, but he saw no real reason to fight against the benevolent effects of the moray’s Voice, instead just allowing himself to enjoy the calming sensation.</p>
<p>Eventually, Gordon’s song petered out, leaving Benrey feeling like he was floating aimlessly, the same airy sensation lingering even after his awareness returned, eyes fluttering open hesitantly. The others seemed to be similarly disoriented, and even Sunkist appeared soothed, having laid down on the floor, her tail waving lazily.</p>
<p>A few comfortably quiet seconds passed, Gordon still swaying back and forth with his eyes closed, purring quietly. The others seemed to ‘wake up,’ with varying degrees of shock; Coomer was first, humming to himself as he stretched with a small smile. He was soon followed by Tommy, who blinked sleepily a few times before ruffling Sunkist’s head and reaching for his notepad to add to his notes. Bubby was last, jolting straight up and looking around, quickly covering up his contented expression with a performative scowl, and Coomer gave him a smug smile and strong pat on the back in response.</p>
<p>"That — wow, Mr. Freeman," Tommy exclaimed, "that’s really impressive! Was — was that, um, your home that… that you showed us?"</p>
<p>"O-Oh, yeah! Yeah," perking up, the siren rubbed the back of his neck, eyes darting around in embarrassment, "that’s — that’s a habit, sorry about that. I only meant to, uh, make you feel relaxed? But it takes more effort to convey a specific emotion that I’m not feeling, and I’m — I’m just more used to singing lullabies instead."</p>
<p>"What do you need to sing a lullaby for?" Bubby challenged, causing Gordon to jolt in slight surprise.</p>
<p>"Oh, just for Josh — for my son. He’s usually pretty cheerful, but… well, he’s a guppy, so he’s never tired enough for bedtime. At first it was just a temporary thing, when Joshie refused to let me go on patrol I offered to help him fall asleep, but now he refuses to go to bed without a lullaby." The moray had a small, fond smile as he spoke, hands waving around emphatically as he rambled about his son.</p>
<p>"Your boy sounds wonderful, Gordon!" Coomer chirped, grinning widely with an arm slung around Bubby’s shoulder.</p>
<p>"He is," the siren sighed, "he really is." Face falling, Gordon let himself sink in the water slightly, gaze growing distant. "I miss him…" he mumbled, tail coiling around himself, "my Joshie…"</p>
<p>Falling to the floor of the tank, the downtrodden siren tucked his tail around himself, fins drooping as he laid against the glass wall. He flinched back with a hiss when his injured facial fin pressed against the surface, however, and ultimately lay on top of his coiled tail, head rested on his crossed arms.</p>
<p>The group watched the previously energetic Gordon emotionally deflate, and were left feeling notably out of place as he retreated in on himself sadly. Benrey felt a familiar pit of unease gather in his stomach and pulled his oversized helmet further over his head in an attempt at defense from his own emotions. Guilt felt bad, but his helmet was big and heavy and that was safe and good.</p>
<p>Safe and good, just like Gordon and his son were not.</p>
<p>Fuck.</p>
<p>Benrey promptly hopped off of the desk he’d been sitting on, humming to himself as he made his way over to the door. He didn’t want to sit around doing nothing for the rest of the day; the science team would probably be cleaning up the aftermath of the other team’s earlier fuck up for the rest of the day. While Benrey would often be left to wait while Tommy and the others did science things whenever he’d hang out in the lab, he was usually able to keep himself entertained enough by messing with Gordon — that clearly wasn’t an option anymore, going off of the eel’s newly despondent state. Just watching the others do paperwork was boring as hell, so Benrey was better off spending his time somewhere where he’s not in the way.</p>
<p>Besides, he did have something specific he wanted to check out.</p>
<p>Benrey briefly glanced back once he reached the doorway, waving to Tommy before he walked out the door, smiling slightly at the soft hiss the security hatch made as it slid shut. It’s a good sound, makes him feel a good.</p>
<p>The biological research sector of Black Mesa was still mostly deserted, even fewer people around than there had been this morning. Only a handful of security staff were patrolling the halls and none of them spared Benrey a second glance. Which was good; he technically still wasn’t supposed to be there. Not that he cared, of course.</p>
<p>Black Mesa can die, for all he cares.</p>
<p>Benrey walked slowly down the hallways, closely reading each of the plaques beside the numerous doorways. It was mostly the expected science jargon, — <i>Specimen #4337600-D: Neurally Enhanced Synthetic Scientist, Specimen #607732: Cybernetic Pollinator Replacement, Specimen #6003-Y: Artificial Amorphous Lifeform,</i> — with the occasional full-on nonsense statement — <i>Specimen #4153: Spiders 2??</i> — all of which honestly wasn’t all that out of the norm for the Black Mesa facility. After working here long enough, you stopped trying to discern between the ‘sounds like bullshit but isn’t actually bullshit’ experiments and the ‘sounds like bullshit and lo and behold it’s actually fucking bullshit’ experiments and just accepted that life at Black Mesa is a constant, never-ending stream of ceaseless bullshit, day in and day out.</p>
<p>It made for good conversation, at the very least! Why bother telling the difference between fake bullshit and actual bullshit when you can just make a joke about it?</p>
<p>Anyways. Hallway.</p>
<p>It was in the fourth hallway down from the one Gordon’s room was in that Benrey finally found what he was looking for. The door was overall fairly unremarkable, not standing out in the dull, repetitively decorated hallway on its own, but the information plaque beside it stood out like a sore thumb, the text inscribed on it gripping Benrey’s attention immediately.</p>
<p>
  <i>Specimen #21225: Greyface Moray</i>
</p>
<p>Jackpot.</p>
<p>The label also mentioned another subject contained in the room alongside the moray — <i>Specimen #71515: Portuguese Man O’ War</i> — but Benrey didn’t particularly care about that, instead just relieved that he’d actually managed to find what was probably maybe Gordon’s son. And it had only taken the better half of a day wandering around a restricted section of a poorly regulated secret government facility!</p>
<p>Approaching the keypad beside the sealed doorway, Benrey tried the passcode from the other laboratory where Gordon was trapped — <i>8122218</i> — unfortunately to no avail. The passcode lock made an infuriating buzzer sound as it flashed repeatedly, the bright red lights almost made worse by how <i>close</i> Benrey was when it stopped him in his tracks.</p>
<p>"fuckin… lame, bro. not epic. not cool." Benrey kept muttering to himself as he pulled out his phone, opening the camera app to take a picture of the door and plaque. "this is so sucks bro, i can’t believe you’ve done this."</p>
<p>Tucking his phone back in his pocket, Benrey took one last look at the sealed door before leaving the way he came. The creepy ambiance of the sterile hallways didn’t do anything to ease Benrey’s general worry, but there wasn’t really anything he could do for the time being without probably definitely absolutely getting fired and maybe also killed by Black Mesa.</p>
<p>Not only is dying generally considered a pretty unepic gamer moment, but it would really just cause more problems than anything. If he dies, who would make annoying sounds and stupid jokes? Benrey plays a vital role in this facility, and he’s not gonna leave everyone without their friendly Black Mesa nuisance; that’d be <i>completely</i> unfair!</p>
<p>Besides, even if he did get into the room by himself, there’s not really anything Benrey can do from there aside from getting caught and possibly neutralized. And there’s no point in rescuing the kid if he can’t bring him back to his dad to get that sweet, sweet DILF action. That’s the real reason he’s doing this.</p>
<p>It’s definitely not because his conscience won’t let him leave a heartbroken father separated from his only son in a horrible experimental facility. Totally not. Only for the eel romance points, and nobody can prove otherwise.</p>
<p>There is absolutely no evidence that he has any form of morality. None whatsoever. Benrey totally selfish moments for real for serious for true.</p>
<p>No further questions, thank you very much.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>sidenote: if anyone understands benrey's "protoman z" joke i will die. i came up with it and then realized it's incredibly obscure wordplay dfgkjdf... my Hubris</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Please direct all thanks and thoughts about this AU to @crackhead-moss-man on Tumblr, they're the genius behind this concept!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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